In this corner: Peter Brook, a Brit, born 1925, famous theater producer and director, author of The Empty Space, a book of theater theory published in 1969 that launched a thousand dickbags who fancied themselves directors.

In the other corner: Donald Rumsfeld, an American, born 1932, current Secretary of Defense, author of Rumsfeld’s Rules, a series of suggestions for White House staffers that includes the maddeningly prescient: “it is easier to get into something than to get out of it.”

Can you distinguish between these two masters of obfuscation and sound-bite-sized bullshit? Take this quiz and find out. The winner gets a bottle of middle-quality sparkling wine and a DVD copy of Oh! Calcutta! which, incidentally, totally blows.