Trash “Blowjobs Cause Acne Scars,” Says Dr. Paris Hilton
Rush, don’t dawdle, to your supermarket checkout aisle to read Us Weekly’s highlights of Blender’s upcoming interview with Paris Hilton! Not only does she admit to crying with joy after listening to her own new album, and how she hates it when people touch her, but the reason Paris never gave blowjobs as a youth was because her mother told her she’d develop ACNE SCARS.
“My mom told me that you get those holes in your face, craters she knew this person who had craters. I’m like, `What is that from?’ She’s like, from giving bl-w j-bs.” “I’m like, `You get craters?’ And I totally believed her. She’s like, `It’s from sucking.’ I’m like, `Ewwww!’ I told my boyfriend he’s like, `Why don’t you ever do that?’ I’m like, `Because my mom told me you get these craters.’ And he’s like, `Paris, you’re 19. You’re allowed to do this.‘”
Don’t rush to judgement too soon, Paris! Perhaps your mother DID develop holes in her face from giving too many forceful blowjobs. Becoming a hotel heiress is never easy!
To be fair, the way I never heard this story... Mummsy also said, carrying cash will give you warts, looking a maid in the eye will make you sterile, and wearing anything that completely covers your chest will mean the Osama has won.