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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Trash Andy Dick Goes on Face Licking Spree

Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on August 15 at 10:38 AM

ANDYDICK.JPGAccording to the horrified folks over at Page Six, comedian Andy Dick really outdid himself at the celebrity roast for William Shatner (which, considering his past shenanigans, is saying A LOT).
Dick showed up at the roast dressed as Spock and after downing a couple of cranberry vodkas, spied ’70s icon Farrah Fawcett and said, “I’m going to [bleep] the [bleep] out of her. Put that in Page 6, 7 and 8, that’s how big my [bleep] is.” He then licked the faces of Fawcett, Carrie Fisher, Patton Oswald and Star Trek alum Nichelle Nichols. Then he escorted Post reporter back to his dressing room where he peed in front of her, offered her cocaine, tried to kiss her and finally ended up biting her. We’re thinking he might’ve been loaded at the time.
When asked by the reporter why he went around licking people’s faces, Dick sagely replied, “”I was doing it because I was desperately trying to tie the show together like a fisherman with tuna, and you’re a little piece of fresh tuna. But thanks for asking. Do you want me to lick your face now?”
The reporter asked for a tetanus shot instead.
Catch the next showing of the William Shatner Roast on Comedy Central, Sunday Aug 20 at 10 pm!

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1

Oswalt.

Posted by Levislade | August 15, 2006 10:40 AM

2

What did he do wrong?

Isn't this what a Stranger production meeting is like?

Posted by Paul in Seattle | August 15, 2006 10:44 AM

3

I thought he was all cleaned up? It's fairly impressive to lick the faces of icons like Farrah and Carrie. I'm guessing they could probably relate to Andy with their respective addiction problems of the past.

Posted by ImpossiblePrince | August 15, 2006 11:08 AM

4

Artie Lange gave a hilarious first hand description of the train wreck that is Andy Dick on the Howard Stern Show today. Catch it on the replay (if you're down with Sirius).

Posted by Mike in MO | August 15, 2006 11:09 AM

5

Jeez, even most train wrecks eventually come to a stop. The Dick just keeps on going and going.

Posted by Fnarf | August 15, 2006 11:19 AM

6

I was actually at the roast. Andy was dressed in normal attire until it was his turn to roast Bill. He went backstage and came out all dressed in his Spok outfit. Up to that point he didn't really do too much, just made his usual faces when people accused him of being gay (Which happened a lot during this roast)
He went on and started his schtick in his little Spok outfit. It was pretty awful, and seemed to go on FOREVER. So long in fact, I used his portion to slip out and take a restroom break, when I came back he was STILL talking!
When he was done he went back and changed back into his suit and took his place back on the couch.
This is when his "licking spree" started. It seemed to me that he bombed so badly that he made a decision at that moment to make the out-take reel as much as possible. (I guess it worked for Courtney Love at the Pam roast) At one point he even went up out of turn and the director told him to sit down and shut the mic off on him! I'm sure that will all be edited out.
He was like a child looking for bad attention. As for the rest of the roast, it was really f-in funny and everyone should check it out.

Posted by lilblackcat | August 15, 2006 11:29 AM

7

While I certainly don't condone biting humans while on cocaine, this is further proof that Andy Dick is one of our greatest modern comedians. He goes where Tom Green dare not go.

Posted by matthew fisher wilder | August 15, 2006 11:40 AM

8

Andy Dick really was a complete idiot on that roast.If I had invited him I would have regretted it.He seems to be trying a little to hard to get attention and prove something.He was not funny kissing and biting other guests.More like annoying.Overall, I enjoyed the roast.But I think it would have gone better without the antics of a person on drugs and booze acting like a child.Funny is telling jokes not licking and biting everyone.That's just childish.And he can't take a joke either.Maybe that was his problem.Every time someone said something about him he looked like he was going to cry.Pampers anyone?

Posted by Buckfush | August 21, 2006 3:24 AM

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