Here are two important lessons I have learned: I am always late to a good party,

And: When something you love has withered and died, make porn out of it.

Example: Buffy Porn, which I’d heard rumors of, but had never read. (As in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and if you’re groaning right now, you obviously haven’t watched season three and beyond, which is when it gets really good. Either that, or you are sadly a hooker with poor taste.)

Witness: The livejournal Femslash Porn Battle, a competition I found yesterday, but which ended over a month ago. The setup was simple; prompts were given in the form of a fandom, pairing, and inspiration word (BtVS, Willow/Buffy, pillow fight), and writers had four days to create pieces of short erotic fiction.

All of your old, retired favorites (as well as some current ones) are resurrected and primed for gropage: There is Buffy porn, Firefly porn, Battlestar Galactica porn, Harry Potter porn, even The Facts of Life porn. Most of it is terrible. Some of it is great. Either way, it is like stumbling upon a surprise party filled with old friends, and then watching them hump.

I loved the Buffy scenes for their sweet nostalgia, but my favorite was a bit of Harry Potter porn. In this scene, Professor McGonagall goes down on Hermione after offering her tea (how polite the English are!):

(Posted by Hermionesviolin)

[Hermione] could feel warmth welling up from the pit of her stomach and managed a small smile.

“That’s better,” McGonagall said. “Now let’s get you out of those damp clothes.”
Hermione looked up in surprise.

“You heard me.” McGonagall got up from her place at the table and lifted Hermione’s heavy cloak from her shoulders. Hermione stood, unsteadily, to allow her to take it off. She was still standing there when McGonagall came back from the coat closet. McGonagall gently unfastened her robes, letting them fall onto the chair behind her. She took Hermione by the hand and led her to the side of the room where the fire burned brightly. Hermione sat down on the thick red rug obediently. McGonagall slowly unfastened the buttons of Hermione’s blouse. Hermione closed her eyes and let McGonagall ease her backwards after she had taken off her bra…

In the end, Professor McGonagall gives Hermione quite the tongue lashing.
So Peruse. Laugh. Remember the good times (seasons 4-7).