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"Flones said Tata was still active and alert in his later years, to the point each spring that he called out from inside the house to crows outside, often loudly and beginning at 5 a.m."
That crow would have never lasted no 59 years in my house pulling that "early bird" shite, the two cats notwithstanding.
OK, if Early Times is the only whiskey you got, it'll have to do. But 5 AM's a little harsh.
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Now, if this was some 59-year-old Old Crow whiskey you were talking about, and you were letting Uncle Fnarf have a little taste of it, then I'd be excited.