News The Morning News
North Korea (remember them? Part of the “Axis of Evil,â€ť president is batshitcrazy) had a little Independence Day gift for America: long-range missile tests.
In Mexico, the conservative candidate has declared the victory, while his liberal challenger demands a recount. Looks like NAFTA didn’t just export jobs south of the border.
Israel vs. Palestine: “You hit one of our schools, we’ll hit your Interior Ministry.â€ť
Seattle police arrest patriotic man for scaling a crane in Belltown to watch the fireworks. FOX News declares liberals are waging “War on Independence Day.â€ť
950—count ‘em, 950—new condos and apartments are being proposed for a parking lot near Qwest Field. If the proposal is accepted, the number of Pioneer Square residents will double.
Our very own Seattle Mariners can’t win in their own division.