City Ken Schram Is Not Amused By Horse Fucking
Unless you’ve led an exceedingly lucky life, you are aware of the existence of Ken Schram, the KOMO 4 personality known for his infamous “Schram on the Street” segments, wherein our host rants about something or other like a crustier version of Andy Rooney.
One of Schram’s newer inventions is the Schrammie, an “award” given every Wednesday to, as he describes it, “someone who, through word or deed, makes me scratch me head and wonder, ‘What the hell are they thinking?’”
The winner of this week’s Schrammie? Police Beat director Robinson Devor, whom Schram takes to task for his next project: the Charles Mudede-penned documentary In the Forest There is Every Kind of Bird.
“This piece ain’t about no bird though,” huffs Schram. “No siree. Robinson Devor’s film is about ‘that guy.’ You know…the guy…the horse…and a “romantic interlude” that ended with the guy dead of a perforated colon. Devor is of the mind to cover some heretofore-uncharted cinematic territory by exploring what could possibly compel a married engineer to carnally engage with a stallion. He also hopes to inform us about how the horse felt about it all. How he plans on achieving that is beyond me, unless the steed happens to go by the name of ‘Mr. Ed.’….Anyway Mr. Devor, for being something of a horse’s ass, take a bow. This ‘Schrammie’s’ for you!”
Jeez, even the Enumclaw Courier-Herald—the horse’s hometown newspaper—had more perspective on the film than Schram did (read his full rant here). Still, congratulations to Robinson Devor and Charles Mudede, who’ve been blessed with an award-winning film before shooting’s even completed.
P.S. Devor and Mudede’s Police Beat opens today at the Varsity…
Schrams talents are being wasted... maybe KOMO could make him their Middle-East correspondent? That would be just super.