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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

In Other Ass Backwards News

Posted by on July 26 at 10:09 AM

The U.S. Senate voted 65-34 (with 14 Dems—not Maria Cantwell or Patty Murray…or Joe Lieberman) joining 51 Republicans) to make it a federal crime to help an underage girl do an end-run around parental notification laws by going to another state to get an abortion.

Stupid.

Here’s the roll call.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t underage girls the ones that we should most want to get abortions if they get pregnant?

This law comes from the same place as all the War on Sex stuff. It’s living in denial about the fact that people—and unfortunately, teenage girls too—have sex and get pregnant. Certainly, we should do everything we can to prevent teenage girls from getting pregnant (because that’s a recipe for disaster), but once they get pregnant, there needs to be access to abortion.

This legislation basically says: Teenage girls shouldn’t get pregnant, but if they do, we’re going to punish them and the child. This casts doubt on the GOP’s motives. Are they really against teen pregnancy because of the social problems that come with it? This legislation suggests to me that their real stance on teenage sex is simply: It won’t exist if we say it won’t. That is, let’s relegate the teen and her child to outcast status by making them pay for the rest of their lives for a dumb teenage mistake.

Newsflash: Being a dumb teenager includes having sex. It has forever. And it always will.


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If you chop out their clits and sew up their vaginas before puberty, like they do in real God-fearing countries, they will find a remarkable new enthusiasm for abstinence. Then, when they are sold into marriage, you can open them up again to impregnate them. It's God's way.

How will this work if the girl travels on her own via a common carrier? Will Greyhound or United Airlines or Amtrak (which is a quasi-governmental agency!) be held liable? What if the adult doesn't know the girl is pregnant and intending to get an abortion?

There you go again, Catalina, confusing the issue with thinking. Keep on point: we must make dramatic gestures that reinforce our nonsensical views. It doesn't matter if it works or makes sense or not, or how many people it hurts; only the gesture is important.

Don't you realize that teenagers never had sex before the licentious 1960s? There were never unwanted pregnancies before then, everyone knows that!

Sure were a lot of girls who had to go "visit relatives in another state," though.

Oh, and making abortion illegal prevents it, right? There were never abortions before it was legal. And I have a bridge to sell you if you buy that...

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