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Wednesday, July 5, 2006

How to Avoid Prison

Posted by on July 5 at 7:13 AM

Former Enron chairman Ken Lay is dead.

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Dead men keep the best secrets.

How convenient for the Bush Administration.

I'm not saying anything

Hmmm...kind of like Bill Casey's convenient brain tumor at the height of Iran/Contra.

I wonder if Papa's called in some chits?

Sounds like he stopped taking his heart medication like Slobodan Milosevic.

Will they release the autopsy results? Maybe W gave him another ID? Hmm...

I'm surprised Cheney didn't just shoot him in the face.

This was the first thing I thought of:

John Milton: Eddie Barzoon! Eddie Barzoon! Ha! I nursed him through two divorces, a cocaine rehab, and a pregnant receptionist. God's creature, right? God's special creature? Ha! And I've warned him, Kevin, I've warned him every step of the way. Watching him bounce around like a fucking game, like a wind-up toy! Like 250 pounds of self-serving greed on wheels! The next thousand years is right around the corner, Kevin, and Eddie Barzoon--take a good look. Because he's the poster child for the next millennium! These people, it's no mystery where they come from. You sharpen the human appetite to the point where it could split atoms with its desire, you build egos the size of cathedrals, fiberopticly connect the world to every-eager-impulse, grease even the dullest dreams with these dollar-green gold-played fantasies until every human becomes an aspiring emperor! Becomes his own God! Where can you go from there? And as for scrambling from one deal to the next, who's got his eye on the planet? As the air thickens, the water sours, even the bees honey takes on the metallic taste of radioactivity--and it just keeps coming! And it just keeps coming! Faster and faster! There's no chance to think, to prepare, it's `buy futures, sell futures' when there is no future!! We've got a runaway train, boy!! We've got a billion Eddie Barzoons all jogging into the future. Every one of them reading to fist-fuck God's ex-planet, lick their fingers clean as they reach out with their pristine cybernetic keyboards to total up their billable hours!! And then it hits home! It's a little late in the game to buy out now!! Your belly's too full, your dick is sore, your eyes are bloodshot, and you're screaming for someone to help!! But guess what? There's no one there!! You're all alone, Eddie!! [mocking] You're God's special little creature!!

Maybe it's true. Maybe God threw the dice once too often. Maybe He let us all down.

Can you say: New identity in a small central american country?

Huh. Until I heard this earlier today, I wasn't aware Lay even had a heart...

Ahem, to all you poli junkies. Ken Lay was first and foremost good buds with the Clinton administration, and during the Enron scandal, former Treasury Sec Rubin was representing Enron.

FUCK KEN LAY. Somebody piss on his grave, plz.

truth and justice, you're a moron. Like so many of your fellow morons, You obviously view political parties as some sort of sports team.

So the fuck what if Clinton was in cahoots with Lay? Are you so retarded that you can't look beyond that?

Jesus, with dipshits like truth and justice and their idiotic myopic worldview, this country deserves everything that is going to happen to it.

Hey Truth and Justice - what's your point? Of course these scum are going to nuzzle up to whoever is in power. I guarentee you "Kenny Boy" was a 100% republican at the polls.

Suicide by way of energetic high-priced young mistress?

check his DNA ...

Kenny Boy did manage to bring out the worst in people. May he rest in peace. We don't have him to blame for anything.

Some stoner really needs to cut off his head and make a bong out of his skull.

Bring back the guillotine. Heart attack pills are for pussies.

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