Don’t you think Hezbollah—stripped of its associations (machine guns, martyrs, jihad)—would make a beautiful name for a little girl? I know several people who’ve had baby girls in the past few months, none of them named Hezbollah. Nor does it appear on this list of the most popular children’s names for 2005. It’s not a name anyone considers. But consider it. “Time out, Hezbollah—go sit over there.” “Hezbollah is the best-behaved girl in the class.” “Hey Hezbollah, what’s that all over your shirt?” It rolls off the tongue. The sound of it makes me think of an undulating field of flowers.

This woman didn’t name her son Hezbollah, but she did name him after one of the long-range missiles Hezbollah is using against Israel.

For the record, a quick internet search for definition of Hezbollah reveals that it doesn’t mean undulating field of flowers. It means: a Shiite terrorist organization with strong ties to Iran; seeks to create an Iranian fundamentalist Islamic state in Lebanon; car bombs are the signature weapon. I got that definition from this website. Click on that link and notice the ads by Google above and below the definition. One of them is—can this be a joke?—”Meet Jewish Girls” followed by “View Profiles, Email, Chat & IM Join Now & Get 3 Months Free!”