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Sunday, June 25, 2006

You Have a Friend in You

Posted by on June 25 at 20:59 PM

Apparently this is a video shown at the end of a Scientology orientation session. Watch it quick before YouTube is sued into bankruptcy.

“If you leave this room after viewing this film, and walk out and never mention Scientology again, you are perfectly free to do so. It would be stupid, but you can do it. You can also dive off a bridge and blow your brains out. That is your choice.

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Thank Christ/Xenu that I checked before posting this again. Personal fave: You will be a friend of yours.

The soundtrack moved me to tears.

Holy. Shit.

Jeebuz, with all the Hollywood types falling for this load, you'd think at least one of them would have mentioned that static camera shots are - BORING!


That static camera shot builds tension. Scientology is totally in it's Godard phase. I was riveted. No, really.

wait, that wasn't a MLM infomercial?

This video offends me just by its production values. What the hell are they doing with all the money they dupe out of stupid megastars?

Here is the whole video in all it glory.

How do we know this is for real? I mean, really? That whole "it would be stupid" line? That's right out of an snl skit or something.


Scientology is on to the theme of our time: corporate/self-help religion. Nicely done. If I had to pick a religion it would be Ron's.

So, now that a certain actress has gotten married in Australia, any word of whether or not she's escaped S's clutches?

The biker Rebornos from my neighborhood didn't get me with "The Cross and The Switchblade" movie when I was a kid. The guy I taught English conversation to was an alchemist and I'm pretty sure he hypnotized me, but, nope, not an alchemist either. I don't hold a grudge that they tried. It's a free country. I'll stand up for Tom Cruise and his peeps, although I personally prefer giblets to placenta.

I loved "The Cross and the Switchblade" and all those other born-again movies and books I used to see at my friend's house. Thank goodness I was catholic, which allowed it to bounce right off me and make me the athiest I am today.

I'm afraid I'm gonna get sued just for watching that...

What??? The dialogue seems way too ridiculous to be credible...

On the other hand, if someone were spoofing, wouldn't they claim to have stolen a copy of the video? This looks like someone hid a camera or used a cell phone to capture the video playing on a TV screen.

I'll be so disappointed if thats real. Is that the best they can do?

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