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Monday, June 26, 2006

The Morning News

Posted by on June 26 at 8:00 AM

Iraq: Amnesty is Out, Reconciliation is In.

Iraq II: Republicans defeat Dem plan for troop withdrawal. Pentagon adopts it.

Iraq III: Beheadings are back.

Buffet’s Billions: He’s giving `em away.

Disgruntled Seattle Smokers: Move to Germany, the nicotine addict’s paradise.

World Cup: England defeats Ecuador or Uruguay oroh, who gives a shit.

King George: He may graciously allow the Senate to “review” his illegal wiretapping program.

Tom Cruise’s Most Recent Ex-Wife: Nicole Kidman remarries “in a traditional Catholic ceremony.” Can divorced people do that? Can Scientologists do that? Can Kidman marry a heterosexual?

Lance Armstong: Okay, he had cancer. But is he a total asshole or what?

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In other sad news, Denice Denton, who was a dean at UW for 9 years before becoming the youngest female/only out lesbian Chancellor in the University of California, committed suicide this weekend.

Do you really have to be sorry for someone with cancer if they probably gave it to themselves by taking all that junk?

Cesco, I hope someone says something similar about you when you kick the bucket.

Although, I will admit I'm going to enjoy peeing on Bush's grave when he dies from natural causes.

The Catholic Church didn't recognize her first marriage because it was a Scientology one.

Divorced people can have a wedding in a Catholic church if they've gotten an annulment. A real, Catholic annulment involves filling out a LOT of forms and sending them to Rome and getting the OK from the pope. Seriously, the pope.
(Well, probably a minion, but the official letter is on his stationery. For Nicole Kidman, he might have taken it on himself - those forms must have made for interesting reading.)
There's a short cut if you're a Catholic who married a non-Catholic in a non-Catholic ceremony, but it still takes hella long time.

The oddest part about a Catholic annulment is that it doesn't mean that the church recognizes that you are no longer married - it means that in the eyes of the church you never WERE married. It NEVER HAPPENED.

Because the church is really good at ignoring and denying stuff that happened in the past.

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