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Thursday, June 1, 2006

The Freykis Files

Posted by on June 1 at 12:22 PM

Hello citizens of the Slog.

If you are just joining the Freykis Fiesta, you can quickly get yourself up to speed here.

(Long story short: Gay-hating, allegedly Christian freak sends typo-packed hate mail to a member of the media, member of the media shares hate mail with readers, and all Hell breaks loose, in a bunch of bizarre and hilarious directions.)

In the synopsis linked above, I claim the saga started on April 12, when Daniel Freykis sent his premiere email to me. Actually, initial contact was established one day earlier, with a letter to the editor from brother Richard Freykis:

Ha ha ha! Man, did I just have the best lunch- I grabbed a sandwich and a copy of the Stranger, sat down and read a 50,000 word article about guys fucking each other in the ass and all of ‘em getting AIDS and then- here’s the kicker!- the writer blamed it on the building!!!!!! Oh, you guys slaaaaay me- what, is it a poltergeist who hates queers? Ha ha ha, a billion rim jobs going on and you fucking sick perverts wonder why you all have cold sores- you’re SICK FAGGOTS and you’re all going to die from AIDS and that is just nature taking out the trash! And you sickos want to get married. Over my dead body, you freaks! Listen, motherfuckers- you are just a propaganda service for ass fucking homo trash, and when I moved to my new condo I didn’t pay half a million dollars to have a bunch of cocksucking faggots in the street with your “pride”- “oooh, look at me, I’m so proud to eat shit and get fist fucked”…listen here, cum sucker, that to me is OBSCENITY and if some little innocent child should get hold of it YOU could go to jail! You probably want to jst entice them so you can ass rape them anyway huh, you and your fucking perverted goddamn pedophile freidns! Isn’t 18 young enough, you worthless little AIDS victim??? Say hi to all your faggot buddies- I mean, if you consider putting flowers on their gaves ‘cos they’re all dead of AIDS saying hi! Ha ha faggot, millions read your story adn now the word is out- queer homos are NOT reformed, your worse than ever and you will NEVER get the right to marry!!!! You will all die and burn in hell you fucking assholes. Go suck shit out of your boyfriend’s asshole, douche and I’ll laugh when your skinny faggot ass dies of AIDS!!!!!!

The “50,000 word article about guys fucking each other” that Richard references is Christopher Frizzelle’s Bleak House, which is only about 6,000 words long and (brilliantly) covers a whole lot more than guys fucking each other. However, Richard’s letter is clearly the inspiration for the letter that would soon arrive from Daniel, who picked up his elder brother’s barely coherent fury and made it his own, promptly giving the world an immortal catchphrase.

Speaking of Daniel Freykis’s impressionability: A couple weeks after the initial hubbub, I received this email from a man I’ll call Pastor X, who claimed to be Daniel Freykis’ “teacher”:

First of all, let me assure you that this is no idle letter of enmity or mere threat. My God commands me to go unto the wicked (Ge 6:5, Ps 5:4) and speak plainly and in truth (Ps 15:2, Ro 9:1) and that must be done as His will is my command. I am not writing to assail or engage in the contumely pastimes of your culture and the death it represents. I am, however, writing with great indignity and sorrow for the horrible campaign of slander you have effected against one of my dearest young friends, Daniel Freykis. You are a shameful lot, yet why is it that I know you do not tremble in the presence of great evil (Ex 15:14)? Disagreements are fine, and you people have many rights in this land which were never intended by our Founding Fathers (perhaps you should stop your campaigns of slander for a moment and read the Constitution?), yet have them you do nonetheless. This is not the time to engage in the ultimate results and dispensations germane to such proclivities and the wickedness of the nations (Eze 5:6) which has allowed such crimes- yes, even encouraged them. For now, let me tell you that while you may find it amusing to your sinful pride and hearts to engage in this organized campaign of terror against Daniel, there are ways in which the guilty may be punished, even in this whore of Babylon (Eze 23:17) unto which our Great Republic has seemingly been fallen. You homosexuals and your militant agenda are not the only ones with rights, damn you, and you have gone too far this time. Publishing this boy’s name and then going the extra step to initiate some kind of clothing line simply to defame him- and for what? He would not become as you are? NO! For he is a Child of Christ (1Jo 2:1) and not of your wiles, wills and excretions. This is not going to end anytime soon. Your militancy is not but a joke; it is slander, and it is illegal. You- and your co-conspirator- will answer to the laws of this country, of which Christians are still (barely) acknowledged as citizens thereof. I have friends in the national media. You will rue the day when you attacked one of MY friends. For I am his teacher, yes, but also have I learned from him. It is this wisdom you SODOMITES cannot stand; so now you must pay.

After reading his letter, I wondered if Pastor X was aware of the email Daniel sent to instigate this whole brouhaha—the original “GOD FUCKING HATES YOU MAN!!!!!!! GO live in France pussy you faggots!!!!” letter. I also wondered if Pastor X didn’t think his time might be better spent helping Daniel become a less atrocious Christian, rather than defending him to media outlets to which he’s sent hate mail. I forwarded these questions (along with Daniel’s hate-packed email) to him, and got this response:

This is not the work of my friend Daniel. It is obviously a forgery. The Bloodlust has gone too far (2Ki 12:20). Christians have “had it” with being second class citizens. But, like the Romans, pushing one’s luck in the face of the immutable, ineffable laws of the universe leads only to obloquy and scorn. I will speak to young Daniel, and then from there a plan of battle.

After this, only silence…until yesterday’s “look what you have wrought!” missive from brother Richard Freykis.

Which brings us up to date, and leaves me with two major questions:

1. What if this is all some post-postmodern, post-post gay, and totally amazing joke? It’s not beyond the realm of possibility, and it’s great to imagine that God would never allow his children to be this stupid and hateful for real, but…I doubt it. (However, if it is a joke, the instigators will be the recipients of my eternal worship.)

2. What if these freaks are real, and really well-armed? A distinct possibility, but what are you gonna do? If I’m not allowed to defuse the spite hurled at me by enjoying it like a fascinating documentary (and sharing it with others), I may as well already be shot dead by two gay-hating brothers on the street.

Final mystery: Exactly how old is this poor Daniel Freykis? Judging by his cussing and fury, I’d guess at least 22. Judging by his spelling, I’d say eighteen months, with brain damage. Still, both Pastor X and brother Richard seem to treat Daniel as a kid who needs protecting, so maybe his “all fags should die!” letter-writing campaign is just a phase he’ll grow out of….a boy can dream…


CommentsRSS icon

My satanic most certainly will be.

I'm so glad the Freykis fracas is up and running again.

If the Daniel Freykis myspace page linked in an earlier comments thread is accurate, Daniel is 38 years old.

The Freykis's and the pastor's responses read the same to me. They've got a wealth of stylistic similarities. Granted, this may be because of their apparently blanket ideological fury, but, misspellings aside, they do seem like they're written by the same person. Which would be the best prank ever, I do agree.

If not, be safe. Who knows if these people, if for real, have the litigious -- but twisted, natch -- reserve of Phelps and company? (But didn't the pastor's repeated references to his "dearest young friend" seem a little, you know, gay?)

Yeah, I think that Daniel Freykis MySpace profile was set up by a fan, in his name. (After the original Freykis letter, several readers proposed signing him up to every gay message board available...Maybe the MySpace profile is a benign version of that...)

Nothing is funnier than hearing White Christian conservative men cry about being "second class citizens."

I truly hope this isn't a troll.

I LOVE Pastor X! He is maudlin and full of self-pity. He is magnificient! And he's presumably not even drunk!

(Yes, I am ripping that line off from Addison Dewitt in "All About Eve", but don't you think it's appropriate?)

Pastor X should write lyrics for a shitty metal band, called Pastor X. The (presumably) guy is quoting the Bible to absolutely no effect, inserting passages that just finish [his]sentences.

Awesome.

Oh My God. This should be called "All About Steve"

Besides, (James 1:23) anyone can cite (issah 3:23) the bible (books, 6:85) because hardly anyone (psalms 34:34) ever reads the silly thing (Ralph 14:32)

Actually, it shouldn't be called "all about Steve" because no one is named steve. I don't know where that came from. I'm very hungover today, and am not functioning well. I need to be treated with thereapeutic courtesy

David,
You should feel honored. This is almost as good as some of the hate mail that Howard Stern gets.

I'm assuming that very basic interpretation of the email message headers reveals that these are coming from different IP addresses?

Almost every day I feel the weight of oppression for being gay (Eyman's initiative to repeal the rights we fought decades to win, the Republican's desire to amend the constitution, a handful of new states every year passing DOMA laws or amending state constitutions, etc). I try not to let it get to me, but it does.

Then I read something like this. This is just so... bizarre. It's really funny as hell. First Daniel, then Richard's grammar and spelling challenged rants. Are near-illiteracy and rabid homophobia genetically linked some how? And now Pastor X spouting selective Bible verse (Jesus, save me from your followers). This is more entertaining that any movie I've seen all year. These guys are totally certifiable.

It always cracks me up when people write completely stupid shit to you, and then get angry at you for publishing it.

Please continue to feed us tidbits of this saga. You've made my day, two days in a row!

His spelling and grammar show that he is not "one of us". He sounds like the poor people who ride the bus. Probably he's from Tacoma, or Lake City, where poor uneducated white people live. Affluent, well educated people like ourselves should not ever have to see stupid poor white people, much less hear their thoughts. This is the reason why bus transportation is only a solution for the poor and uneducated. Why should people like us have to be exposed to human trash like this?

Blessed be the day when these Freykis monkeys join in the Slog discussions. Hell, why not give them a day of privileges to post items? Pastor X, too. Imagine the possibilities...

Ignorant poor people can't spell! But I don't know who is more fun to ridicule, poor white people, or poor black people?

Here's some examples how stupid poor black people talk for your enjoyment -


She BIN had dat han'-made dress

Befo' you know it, he be done aced de tesses.

Ah 'on know what homey be doin.

Can't nobody tink de way he do.

I ast Ruf could she bring it ovah to Tom crib.


I can just feel ignorance and poverty oozing from the syntax, it's hilarious. Can anyone else post examples of what stupid poor black people sound like? What about "stupid things Chinese immigrants say", or "funny Mexican migrant worker talk".


Affluent, educated people like ourselves just write and spell better than the poor. Isn't that quirky and silly?

Hello all: Just wanted to let you know that we've confirmed that all three of the Freykis-saga players—Richard, Daniel, and Pastor X—sent their emails from different IP addresses, in different parts of the state and beyond.

... all three of the Freykis-saga players ... sent their emails from different IP addresses, in different parts of the state and beyond.


This gets more interesting by the minute, especially with the posts that conflate class warfare with bigotry.

Plutocracy, do you really think that mocking "poverty and ignorance" is the driving force of this thread?

Quote from Daniel Freykis's original email: "I CANNOT BELIVE my brother moved to such a fag town oh well he makes more money than YOU (guranteed!) so he'll pay more taxes and maybe just habe all your pussy ass places where you shit on each other closed down do you think aids is just a coincidece? GOD FUCKING HATES YOU MAN!!!!!!!"

i vote for prank either by mr. schmader or someone else. just doesn't sound authentic to me.

The ignorant poor often compose hilarious homophobic verbal stylings full of bad grammar and spelling.

Uneducated, ignorant blacks even create anti-faggot hate rhymes. Here's an example-


COMMON featuring CANIBUS - Making a Name For Ourselves

And I swear black, try to battle me, you won't last
I'll turn your ass into the artist formerly known as
You gay ass fag, I'll blow you to ashes with tactics
Strip you naked, then make you hug a cactus, you bastard


I collect recordings of these ignorant black "artists" to play for my friend's amusement. Has anyone found any "Funny Chinese attempts at American english" or "Crazy things Mexicans say" to include in this posting?


Sometimes even rich Chinese, or Japanese people say silly things. I love how Japanese rich and poor can't pronounce our letter "R"! And lots of affluent black people have also been known to make funny comments about "faggots".


Ignorant white, black or yellow people can be a sure source of amusement for the afflent, educated and in-the-know crowd like ourselves.

This thing just gets better and better.

you know what, plutocrasy, i have no problem making fun of these kids, that stupid ass pastor, or common. it has nothing to do with race, religion, socio-economic status, or spelling. it's for being dumb fucks. and homophobes. if they were poor, white/black, christians who treated people with respect, then i would be fine with them. but they aren't. they send idiotic letters full of hate, poor grammer, and terrible spelling. so i make fun of them for that. nothing else.

the same with everyone else who has commented.

so fuck off and quit trying to create drama that isn't there.

Pluto -- I see you're copying and pasting from your post elsewhere where the topic of spelling ability came up. I know you really want to make some sort of socio-economic point about why poor spelling and grammar (not to be confused with your 'poor people') shouldn't be criticized. I'm still not buying it.

The sentences that you throw up there sound great to me. I hear the sounds and you need that spelling to get that sound. Fucking awesome, man. Boffo. Keep it coming. I couldn't write those sentences myself; they're not me. I do understand them though. Not because I'm tolerating misspelling as a result of negligence, but because these are translations of dialect variants of standard English and that's how they sound.
So now, say we flip the coin and you throw up a sentence such as: "You can have you're cake and eat it to!", you undercut your idea's effort (and thus, your credibility) by distracting my brain from your sentence by misspelling these common fucking words. It's noise dude, not music, and that's chalk-uppable to being one's own damn fault.

Plutocracy, clearly you missed the salient point of the younger Freykis' missive - the elder Freykis is not one of the disadvantaged at all. He makes far more money than any of we, the affluent, in this "fag town."

Therefore, your strawman argument appears to have been incinerated by the angry mob of townsfolk holding pitchforks.

Metaphor mixing brought to you courtesy of Ernst and Julio Gallo.

Publishing someone's email address doesn't expose them to *identity theft*. It does expose them to pranks akin to calling up pizza places and ordering stuff to their address.

What sounds like it happened is someone ordered a bunch of stuff on-line with his email address and address, possibly with stolen CCs.

Or the dumb fuck did that stuff himself, got caught and is now trying to pass off the blame.

You don't even need a credit card to order bogus stuff for people. There's countless educational, financial, and other websites where you can enter just an email address (and maybe a name) and get all sorts of crap sent to you. It helps if you know their phone number, though.

Aexia: While using an someone else’s email address does not constitute identity theft with access to the offended party’s assets and vital information, it does fit the definition in an academic, and moral, sense. It is incredibly reprehensible for The Stranger to violate its trust with its readership by publishing the email address of a reader – especially in this most volatile thread. And I’m a fag, so I’m not saying this lightly. I don’t want to stick up for these creeps, if that is indeed what this story really is in cyberspace.

Mapleleaf, I think that anytime you contact a "member of the press", whether it be a reporter, columnist, or editor, you are implcitly releasing your contact information UNLESS you state that you want it kept confidential.

We have responsibility for our actions, including our writings. Daniel Freykis was not sought out by the Stranger for his views - he gave them gladly, and placed no restrictions on them. What is reprehensible to me is that he and his associates now feel that they can position him as the victim. Fool, yes - victim, no.

Can someone post email addresses of some poor dumb black people who are homophobic? We should punish them for their stupidity and bigotry too.


Though I often can't even understand poor black people when they talk because their English is so bad, I can tell when they say "faggot" or "bitch". Let's make those dumb black pay for their ignorance. What about Korean shopkeepers? Some of them even write Todays Special on their promotional signs. Please post email addresses of working class blacks and Koreans too so we can order hundreds of pizzas under their names. People who can't spell or speak proper English are so stupid they deserve to be punished.

"DBP": Excuse me, but what the fuck are you talking about? Do you seriously believe this entire hubbub is the result of caucasian-based reverse racism and grammar snobbery?

I had no idea what race Daniel Freykis was when I shared his classic first letter with the world, and I still have no idea. Popular assumption seems to peg him a honky, but who knows?

The fact is those letters could have come from anyone—an uneducated Turk, a Korean with three doctorates—and my response would have been the same.

Ugh. Even dignifying your statements this much makes me feel dirty...I imagine your motives are good, but really, you need to find a more appropriate forum to fight this battle you're obsessed with...

DBP is (like) Pluto in (adjective withheld) clothing.

I had no idea what race Daniel Freykis was when I shared his classic first letter with the world, and I still have no idea.


If you really claim to have no idea what the race is, then why get upset if someone asks for more funny homophobic rants from black people? Just because popular assumption pegs him/her as white, doesn't mean he/she is. If you don't get your panties in a bunch when popular assumption pegs him/her as white, then why react when someone else assumes he/she is black?


There are funny homophobic rants by people of all races, why limit our laughter by only reading rants by people we assume are white. Can't dumb homophobic black people be just as hilarious as dumb homophobic white people?

David Schmader in Ebonics;


"DBP": Excuse me, but what da fuq iz ya jivin' about? Do ya seriously believe dis here entire hubbub iz da result o' caucasian-based reverse racism an' grammar snobbery?


I had nahh idea what race Daniel Freykis wuz when I shared his classic first letter wiff da world, an' I still gots nahh idea. Popular assumption seems ta peg him uh honky, but who knows?


The fact iz those letters could gots come from anyone—an uneducated Turk, uh Korean wiff three doctorates—and muh ma fuckin response would gots been da same.


Ugh. Even dignifying yo' statements dis here much makes me feel dirty...I imagine yo' motives iz pimp-tight, but really, ya need ta find uh mo' appropriate forum ta fight dis here battle you obsessed wiff... what 'chew trippin foo'

Thanks for the reminder of what poor black English sounds like. David you are correct that your original correspondents are most probably rural white males. I've studied their language, and here's how it would look if they were black.



Ha ha ha! Man, did I just gots da bomb lunch- I grabbed uh sandwich an' uh copy o' da Stranger, sat down an' read uh 50,000 werd article about pimpz fucking each other in da ass an' all o' ‘em getting AIDS an' then- here’s da kicker!- da writer blamed it on da building!!!!!! Oh, ya pimpz slaaaaay me- what, iz it uh poltergeist who hates queers? Ha ha ha, uh billion rim jobs going on an' ya fucking sick perverts wonder why ya all gots cold sores- you’re SICK FAGGOTS an' you’re all going ta die from AIDS an' dat iz just nature taking out da trash! And ya sickos wants ta git married. Over muh ma fuckin dead body, ya freaks! Listen, motherfuckers- ya iz just uh propaganda service fo' ass fucking salad tosser trash, an' when I moved ta muh ma fuckin new condo I didn’t pay half uh million bones ta gots uh bunch o' cocksucking faggots in da street wiff yo' “pride”- “oooh, peep at me, I’m so proud ta eat sheeit an' git fist fucked”…listen here, cum sucka, dat ta me iz OBSCENITY an' if some little innocent child should git hold o' it YOU could jet ta jail! You prob'ly wants ta jst entice dem so ya can ass rape dem anyway huh, ya an' yo' fucking perverted goddamn pedophile freidns! Isn’t 18 young enough, ya worthless little AIDS victim??? Say wha da dily yo? ta all yo' faggot buddies- I mean, if ya consider putting flowers on they gaves ‘cos they’re all dead o' AIDS saying wha da dily yo?! Ha ha faggot, millions read yo' story adn now da werd iz out- queer homos iz NOT reformed, yo' worse than ever an' ya will NEVER git da right ta marry!!!! You will all die an' burn in hell ya fucking assholes. Go wack sheeit out o' yo' boyfriend’s asshole, douche an' I’ll laugh when yo' skinny faggot ass dies o' AIDS!!!!!! what 'chew trippin foo'


You'll notice the typical cadences of poor ignorant blacks are unique and distinctly different from that of whites.

I believe Freykis is white too. I'm no expert on linguistics or anything, but you can tell how dumb white people talk. Poor blacks would have used "pimp" and words like you hear in Hip Hop.

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