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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Arts Belle of The Ball

Posted by MISTRESS MATISSE on June 14 at 16:43 PM

Remember Belle de Jour, the anonymous London call girl whose blog and subsequent book created such a stir a while back? The pinnacle of her blog fame has passed, but she’s still around, and she still has a knack for neatly summarizing aspects of a sex worker’s existence.

“… there is also the problem of envy. No one has ever (to my knowledge) called me a sexpert. Which is baffling. I’ve had sex with a statistically measurable proportion of humanity that even includes an error margin. And I daresay I’ve learned a thing or two about sex meanwhile. But this is not good enough for the world of sexpertdom. I think I know why.
It’s about clothing. If you have sex, then later, with your clothes on, take money for talking about the sex you had, this qualifies you as a sexpert. If, on the other hand, you have sex and take money for the sex itself, this does not. To sum up: taking money with your clothes on, sexpert. With your clothes off, not. So basically sexperts are reporters about sex, rather than sex professionals. Or something.”

I understand how she feels, because no one’s ever called me a sexpert, either.

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1

Ring Ring!

You're a sexpert!

Click.

Posted by SEAN NELSON, EMERITUS | June 14, 2006 5:16 PM

2

I have a hunch that there's a significant overlap between the set of people who want to hear the advice of a "sexpert" and the set who have a certain neurosis about sex being a special, secret vice that one is only to admit the existence of on rare occasions in the presence of others who can be trusted enough to keep their vile humanity under control and only, you know, giggle about it. Anyone who gives it away for money couldn't possibly be trusted to understand the complexity they've layered on top of it (and I don't think you want to, it's pretty fucked up in my opinion). Not expressing shame about your libido makes you and your actions dirty, like the libido itself. They don't want to hear about THAT kind of sex.

Posted by Noink | June 14, 2006 6:45 PM

3

I would've, but I just can't bring myself to call anyone a sexpert.

Posted by Amber | June 14, 2006 10:04 PM

4

I agree with Amber on the point of grammar; "sexpert" sounds like something Bush would say if he could ever unwrap the layers of guilt and shame enough to talk about it.

I don't know about Belle, but, Mattisse, from your lucid and able writing I have no doubt you are an expert in your field.

But we should also note the opinion of Robert Beck, one of the few gentlemen of leisure to write about his profession (under the pseudonym "Iceberg Slim"). He opined that, "After a girl has had about ten thousand cocks in her, she just ain't right in the head."

Posted by Ballard Pimp | June 14, 2006 11:09 PM

5

i'm not sure bush could even pronounce "sexpert." that's, like five consonants.

thank you for the iceberg slim quote - i'm not sure i agree, though.

it's my opinion that, just like any other profession, sex workers do what they do for different reasons and with different degrees of success. maybe it's ok with some women to have that many cocks in them, i don't know.

sex means different things to different people at different times. that's what makes it so powerful and confounding.

Posted by gretchen | June 15, 2006 7:13 AM

6

Agreed, Gretchen. The Old Iceberg was discussing the necessity of having his girls leave him, since it is very dangerous for a gentleman in the trade to dump a lady. He was, as I recall, quoting another pimp who had had one of his ladies committed to a mental hospital. Of course, all this was back in the 1930s and 1940s.

Posted by Ballard Pimp | June 16, 2006 5:39 PM

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