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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Literary Excitement!

Posted by on June 28 at 13:24 PM

One of the best things about working in a bookstore is getting my hands on books first. I came in to work today and my boss gave me the most exciting book of the summer: viola!

Bookclub, anyone?

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Those customer reviews are hilarious. Irony is not dead.

Actually, are you serious about a book club? I've been thinking that would be a cool thing to start. And starting it with the novelization of the defining film of our generation couldn't be more perfect.

The book is cheaper than the movie ticket!

I'm excited for this film too...but I'm preparing myself for it to be the defining let down of our generation. Maybe even beyond Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

I like a viola.

What's this have to do with the viola?

(Please tell me you weren't trying to write "voila"?)

I'll betcha $100 he was shooting for "voila". That's one of my favorites.

Maybe he was suggesting a soundtrack of strings for this literary masterpiece?

Want to increase tension? Viola!

What I don't understand is how the book could possibly be over 400 pages long. There better be lots of pictures.

I dunno, I've been hearing chatter about this tell all from the bastard step sister of violin!, saying it's going to be THE book to read of the summer.

Can't WAIT!!

┬┐Viva la Viola?

I believe you can say "Viola!" ironically, with the idea that everyone knows it's an homage to Christina Applegate's Kelly Bundy on "Married with Children," who did, of course, mean "Voila!"

Viola indeed. Size queen! Violin (d'Ingres) would be more aporpoise.

You know, I wish I could claim the irony defense, but the truth is, I've been saying "Vi-yo-lah" aloud for so long that it's stopped being ironic and started being idiocy. Which, ironically, is kind of what I hope happens with Snakes on a Plane.

I see a whole franchise here. Snakes on a Plane, Snakes on a Boat, Snakes on a Train, Snakes in a Towering Inferno, etc. . .

Napoleon - After the internet buzz SoaP snowballed into phenomena, the movie studio registered a slew of sequel names just in case: Snakes on a Boat, Snakes on a Train, Snakes on a Plane 2, More Snakes on a Plane, and Snakes in Space.

No, I'm serious. Snakes in motherfucking SPACE.

oh, and if anyone wants to buy a Snakes on a Plane magnetic car ribbon, it can be done here:

ah, the movie tie-in novelization.

There's one author, Leonore Fleischer , I keep running across in libraries and thrift stores that's penned some doozies, including:

Ice Castles
The Rose
Running (1979 Michael Douglas movie)
Staying Alive (The Saturday night fever sequel)
The Fisher King
Rain Main
The Net

Perhaps the most impressive thing is that these titles span from 1979-1994; that's FIFTEEN YEARS of throwaway hack writing.

How does one get to be a movie novelization author? It seems like a pretty depressing way to call yourself a published author.....

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