Funny that the real WMDs aren’t in Iraq—they’re in Florida, being used by evengelical (aka, anti-pluralist) Christians against one Cafe Risque.

But first: One of my co-workers just mentioned that his dad’s favorite prayer is: “Lord, grant me patience and I want it right now.” Which reminds me of my favorite prayer, courtesy of St. Augustine: “Lord, grant me chastity and continence, but not just yet.” Augustine wrote that prayer ironically as a barb against lifetime philanderers who become deathbed converts. Ironic, isn’t it, that the same logical construction is being used unironically by one of the Florida Christians protesting the Cafe Risque Adult Superstore:

We’re not trying to stop you from doing your thing and having your free speech,” said Annette DeBusk, 43, of Waldo. “Just don’t do it here.”

As for the WMD (that’s the Alachua County Sheriff’s term, not mine), it seems to be a chemical attack.

[An unknown assailant] rigged up a rudimentary device to spew a hazardous substance through a hose into the Cafe Risque Adult Super Center… the adult bookstore—which will sell magazines, videos and sex toys—was overtaken with hazardous materials teams in full gear, firefighters, police and the Department of Environmental Protection. The source of the leak was a water hose connected to two gallon-sized jugs of an unknown substance atop the business’ air conditioner. Preliminary tests indicate the substance was corrosive in nature.

(Via Maud Newton.)