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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

HUMP! Makes Fleshbot

Posted by on June 27 at 16:37 PM


Fleshbot—the nation’s most trusted source for porn news and gossip—wrote up HUMP! today. Fleshbot even encouraged its vast, horny readership to enter HUMP!, which begs the question: Is Seattle’s amateur porn contest open to out-of-town filmmakers and wannabe porn stars and starlets?

Well, yes—I guess so. Anyone can enter HUMP! so long as they keep their films under eight minutes, don’t violate any of the rules (no animals, no children, no poop), and turn in all the required releases. (A full rundown of HUMP! rules and regulations can be found here.) But local filmmakers and wannabe porn stars and starlets do have an advantage over out-of-towners: EXTRA CREDIT!

One of the pleasures of last year’s HUMP! was watching how filmmakers cleverly weaved the extra-credit elements—cupcakes, sandwich cookies, tube socks, and a photo of Stranger receptionist Mike Nipper—into their films. Who can forget the cupcake fucking the sandwich cookie? Or all the hot chicks wearing nothing but tube socks? Or the guy fucking his female slave after covering her head with a paper bag that had Nipper’s picture taped to it? Ah, those were good times.

Well, three of this year’s extra-credit elements are much more Seattle-specific, which confers a distinct advantage on local filmmakers. Out-of-town filmmakers, if any choose to enter, are going to have a hard time coming by a Dick’s Drive-In bag, burger, or location shot; a T-shirt from Babeland; and a Washington State Ferry.

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Sorry about that.

Godfuckingdammit! I am sick of these people who think there is some controversy over "begs the question." It is possible in this world for words and phrases to have more than one meaning. It might not have bean the original meaning, but beg can mean demand/ask, and question can mean question, so "begs the question" can mean demands the fucking following question(s)! Give a guy a break already.

What if someone from out of town has a Washington Ferry Xmas ornament? I've given plenty of out-of-town family and friends those over the years. Would that count?

I suppose your mom can make one with the WSF ornament you gave her for Christmas six years ago, Matt, if she really wants to.

It is possible in this world for words and phrases to have more than one meaning.

By extension, "rape" can mean "to seize and take away by force" and "tongue" can mean "a spoken language", so one need not take offense to GBM unabashedly raping their tongue.

Languages change. "Corn" used to mean grain, now it only applies to maize. Is this a rape of the English tongue? Beg the question can still mean what it orginally meant, but so many people use it with Dan Savage's meaning that, not only can it literally mean "demand the following question," it does mean that. Wikipedia even lists this as one of the phrase's definitions.

Just read the man's article, breathe, and let it go.

By extension, "rape" can mean "to seize and take away by force" and "tongue" can mean "a spoken language", so one need not take offense to GBM unabashedly raping their tongue.

The answer is plainly yes, and reasonably. High school kids might giggle, but language professionals would nod in bored agreement. When GBM rapes our tongue, he may do so without fallacy, because hordes of rapists can legitimately change our tongue forever.

I had an awesome idea for a cartoon, something about as offensive as the aristocrats, and I totally wanted to put it in Hump. Problem: "no animals, no children, no poop." I am totally against those things (and other stuff I wanted to include) in real life, but in cartoon form, very abstractly rendered, it's just horribly offensively hi-larious, and I wanted to do it.
Can I get away with cartoon versions of these prohibited things in a Hump entry, or does my idea need editing? The funniest thing we came up with so far involves an animal in bondage. I wants to include it. If anyone knows the score, I'd be much obliged for the enlightenment.
I also posted this in the slog forum before I noticed this might be a more appropriate place for it.

No kids. No poop. No animals. In cartoon or live-action.

I understand why the rules are there and respect it. I won't submit anything that defies them, though I will make a separate, dirtier version of my cartoon for distribution elsewhere. It's funny to me that the first idea I came up with for a cartoon went too far for your porn contest. Just didn't occur to me to that I should censor myself in any way, in that moment of inspiration.

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