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Thursday, June 15, 2006

Christian Porn!

Posted by on June 15 at 10:23 AM

ptc.gifYou know, Christians aren’t that different from you and I — because we both loooooooove TEEN PORN! Especially easily accesible Teen Porn. The main difference is that they watch it, masturbate, and then feel so guilty afterwards that they have to level a $3 million dollar fine.
When the CBS show Without a Trace recently featured a teen orgy scene (no nudity, though. SOME ORGY!), the evangelical Christian based Parents Television Council got so hot, they sent in a shit-ton of emails (most of whom never saw the episode) to the FCC who then levied a 3.3 million dollar fine against the network.
But just to prove how much Christians love their soft-core porn, read their hilarious complaint HERE, and scroll on down the page to watch an actual clip from the show!


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Hot.

These Mother F-ers have been trying to decide what people are allowed to watch/listen to for years. This is the same group that lobbied the FCC to fine Howard Stern off the air. It kills me that some stuffy repressed bible thumper has nothing better to do than write letters about shit they haven't even seen. GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

I think it's funny that upstanding Republican companies like Marriott, Starwood, Hilton, etc, have made quite a nice amount of change off of soft-core porn for years now.

They're even starting to get into gay porn. Saw some in San Francicso at the Hyatt a while back.

Think Christian TP complaints are hilarious? Check recent issues of The Atlantic re pubescent porn via Planned Parenthood, those pleasant progressives who made fashionable the quagmire of eugenics:

Caitlan Flanagan in the January/February 2006 Atlantic Monthly wrote about Planned Parenthood's teenwire.com website that, according to Karen Pearl of Planned Parenthood, provides "medically accurate, nonjudgemental information about sexuality for teens." Teenwire, according to Pearl, gives teens "age-appropriate information to help them make responsible decisions."

Flanagan replied (The Atlantic, May 2006) that what Pearl finds "age-appropriate" is morally repugnant. "Whoever is writing the copy for teenwire.com clearly has an abiding and vivid interest in the sex play of minors. The site instructs kids on anal and oral sex ... " ... & goes down the dirt road from there.

But we can't judge a powerful lobby's "nonjudgemental" pretensions, can we? That would be entirely too hilarious.

The grammar police want to know how an email can watch TV.

Wow, the description was WAY hotter than the clip.

Just another reason to get Republicans out of power. Otherwise, w will have these thin-lipped, blue-nose public scolds determining what we can watch on TV.

If you think that recap is funny, there is a review on the Internet of South Park, The Movie by some christian group called the Childcare Action Project. The descriptions of the movie are funnier than the movie itself.

That's a pretty detailed transcript... I wonder how many times the offended parent watched that clip to write it all down? :)

Don't worry, Tom, the fine viglilantes who police this stuff have been specially trained to handle repeated viewings of offensive material without being tainted in any way. I'm so glad they can do it because it would drive me to satanism.

A proud Christian radical would generously donate fulltime to scouring the web for kiddie porn and bestiality sites that he/she can download and store on a home computer in case the FBI ever needs help of the uber rightwing moralists to stage a sting operation against the illegal porn site owners.

Praise the Lewd!

LOL. Did the author of that list masturbate before or after composing that list?

I generally check out their website to see what the most salacious content is going to be on TV that night (they're shown on red). It's a small thing, but it gives me a disproportionate amount of pleasure knowing I am using their site for subversive means.

Hot! All it needs is some same sex action and it'll be perfect.

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