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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

All About Rivers Cuomo’s Sex Drive

Posted by on June 27 at 14:01 PM

When I first heard about it, Cuomo’s vow of celibacy definitely seemed like an overreaction to whatever rock-star angst he was dealing with. But now that I read more about it, the guy who sang, “What’s the deal with my brain/Why am I so obviously insane…” does sound a bit…weird, on the subject of sex and women.

If he’d called me, I could have made this whole celibacy thing easier on him. There are hi-tech chastity belts for men now that you can wear for extended periods you can piss, go through airports, everything. The only thing you can’t do is get (very) hard or get off. It’s not my usual type of scene, but we could have worked something out.

However, since he’s now married, I’m sure he’s working out those two years of pent-up nerdy-rocker-boy lust on his loving wife. I hope she’s got some good lube.

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I am sure Mr. Cuomo was just trying to avoid the hellfire that is the only result of pre-marital sex.

Unless it's retroactive he's gonna burn anyway since he was going to massage parlours and doing his groupies before he took the oath.

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