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Tuesday, May 2, 2006

The High Price of a Nice Lawn

Posted by on May 2 at 7:59 AM

Hey, nice lawn! But it’s too bad about your son’s penis

A renowned U.S. scientist who has documented fertility and sex changes—including decreasing penis size—due to environmental contamination says he wouldn’t apply pesticides on his own lawn….

A zoologist, Guillette has spent the last decade studying the influence of environmental contaminants on fetal development and reproductive systems of wildlife and humans, including the differences between alligators living in contaminated Florida lakes and those in cleaner ones.

He found abnormalities in sex organs, dramatic differences in egg-hatching rates and hormone levels.

Penis size of the animals from the polluted lake was smaller than animals from the less-polluted lake.

“This is important because it is not just an alligator story. It is not just a lake story. We know there has been a dramatic increase in penile and genital abnormalities in baby boys,” Guillette said.

A followup study by another scientist involving healthy couples with 5,000 healthy babies also found reduced penis size with higher contamination levels.


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It's great how things are so bad that scientists have to use a "less-polluted" lake for their control group.

What a perfect example of Darwin at work here. You fuck shit up, your children have smaller genitals.

If only social pollution worked out like that; I'm sure some brilliant scientist could work out a mathmatical formula to figure out how many NASCAR races it takes to shrink your son's penis.

don't suppose this means the stranger will actually start covering environmental issues, like, say, the years and years of campaigning local groups like the washington toxics coalition have put into this and related issues, despite major resistance from the department of ecology?

http://www.watoxics.org/

Oysters, anyone?

Yeah, WF, once it means smaller dicks, we're all over it.

so those of us (and our kids) who eat organic and don't treat our lawns with poison are going to take over the earth?

Amazonmidwife: Yes, you and your large-penised progeny will take over the Earth. Just please refrain from updating those "my kid's on the honor roll" bumperstickers with this new parental boast, because frankly the rest of us don't wanna hear about it.

Wow, I guess this kinda puts a damper on that whole "corn-fed midwest boy" thing. I mean, if all that corn is sprayed with pesticides, then you're pretty much gonna get a hot body and 4" dick. Which is, obviously, why they're all bottoms...

bumperstickers aren't an issue, FB, we homeschool. But I probably can't stop him from using it as a pick-up line---"I eat organic---wanna see?"

Gosh flamingbanjo you almost sound a little (ooops) jealous about all those large-penised progeny.

Are you the guy who keeps sending me those email offers? If you could see my yard, you would see a vast expanse of crabgrass and dandelions growing up past your knees.

I do think the assumption that the biggest dicks get to run the world sounds too much like our current model of governance.

Piling on: picket fences and single-family homes officially mean little dicks for your sons :P

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