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Thursday, April 20, 2006

Where the buffalo roam

Posted by on April 20 at 12:57 PM

A Californian woman has recently purchased a used Boeing 747 jumbo jet in order to build her “feminine” and “eco-friendly” dream home. The house will be nestled in the Malibu hills, with panoramic views of the ocean, mountains, and a nearby valley. Now, god knows I coo every time the term “eco-friendly” is thrown about, but this quote from architect David Hertz killed me:

“As we analysed the cost, it seemed to make more sense to acquire an entire aeroplane and to use as many of the components as possible, like the Native American Indians used every part of the buffalo.”

Huh? Stereotypical buffalo spearin’ Native Americans, long-praised for their efficient use of animal parts, being compared to a woman whose family owns one of California’s largest Mercedes-Benz dealerships , and who just paid $100,000 dollars for a 747 jumbo jet so that bits of it could be used in her multi-million dollar dream home in Malibu? Did I mention that the jet’s nose will be converted into a “meditation temple”? Those Native Americans are going to shit their buffalo shorts when they see it!

Just for kicks, here is a picture of the house:
_41579450_houseplan_416_afp.jpg

And here is a picture of a buffalo:
photo_bison4.jpg


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Wow. I hope the architect has taken the lift of the wings into account. Actually I hope he hasn't. That would would make for a great Darwin award. "Mansion fashioned out of airplane wing flies into Pacific Ocean during gale."
As for the Buffalo does anyone know what native Americans did with the scrotum? Just curious.

Final shipping cost will depend on how many you order.

http://www.bisonfarm.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?page=BISON/PROD/hides_etc/SCR01

You can get your own jumbo jet for $100,000??? I want one!

Coin purses. They made decorative [i]coin purses[/i] out of them.

Once millions of jumbo jets roamed freely across the majestic plains of the American West in mighty herds that stretched from horizon to horizon seemingly without end. But that was before the white man came and laid waste to their numbers, heedlessly slaughtering them by the thousands, shooting them from the windows of passing trains, leaving their dessicated aluminum shells to rot in the sun unused. By the time the last rail was laid in the Pacific Northern railroad, the great age of the jumbo jets was gone, never to return.

You can still sometimes see a dozen or more forlorn specimens held in pens on private lands, fenced off from the vistas they once roamed freely. But this domesticated version is little more than a shadow, an anachronistic reminder of a time that is as now as remote and unreachable to us as Eden: The Age of the Jumbos.

One would hope the architect has enough engineering smarts to face the leading edges of the wing sections away from prevailing winds.

And why isn't Boeing Surplus making these available to the general public? Seems like a good way to create some affordable housing. Heck, for $100,000 I could probably even afford the mortgage.

I hope this woman either doesn't work or works from home, because all the gas she would waste and pollution her vehicle would spew from driving all those miles a day would defeat the purpose of "going green." It'd be more like "going slightly lighter brownish orange."

Oh, and Comte, don't forget how much land costs, plus utility infrastructure, the cost of the contractor's services and construction costs. Plus you'd need a lot of land to make such a house happen.

Jeezuz. How big is that house? Even the shortest wing of the oldest 747 is about 80' long. Now go back and look at that drawing.

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