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Thursday, April 6, 2006

The Nanny-State Texan

Posted by on April 6 at 10:36 AM

Last month, I wrote this column about the Seattle Rep’s decision to buck the smoking ban in its production of Private Lives by Noel Coward, the 1920s farce about couples and smoking and drinking. Here’s the nut graph:

“This is a play and a play is an expressive activity,” said Bruce Johnson, chair of the Rep’s board and a First Amendment lawyer. “State and county laws prohibiting freedom of expression are not enforceable if they are contrary to the First Amendment.” The anti-smoking law, broadly written to prohibit “any lighted smoking equipment” in a public place, appears to ban incense in churches and temples as well as the odd stage cigarette.

Today I got a concerned response from Bob of Cypress, Texas (a suburb of Houston, pop. 18,000, and hometown of Fred Whitfield, a six-time calf roping world champion):

Seattle Repertory Theatre doesn’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to the state law prohibiting public indoor smoking. The purpose of the law is to the protect public health from very hazardous second-hand tobacco smoke, and public health always trumps the First Amendment.  Approximately ten percent of the population has asthma or another respiratory ailment.

Theatres are not exempt from the fire code, and should not be exempt from any health or safety code. Some theatrical people think that their creative license is more important than anybody’s health. That is totally egocentric, arrogant, and wrong.

If playwrights are so creative, they can use props like unlit cigarettes. Certainly they do not use real bourbon or bullets.

Bob

While I enjoy your last two sentences, you’re wrong, wrong, wrong. Legally speaking, I don’t think the courts would agree that public health trumps the Bill of Rights. Philosophically speaking, that sentiment is frightening. A state that gets to decide what’s in the public interest and suspending citizens’ rights accordingly is totalitarianism.

But that’s not really what bugs me about your letter, Bob. What bugs me is that you’re from Texas. I know, I know, there are all kinds of people who live in Texas, but isn’t your state motto “Don’t mess with Texas” or “Don’t tread on me” or something appropriately libertarian?

Actually, no. Turns out the Texas state motto is “Friendship.” How wussy! Texas has a wussy state motto! Washington’s state motto is “Alki,” the Chinook word for “by and by,” which totally kicks “Friendship“‘s ass.

“Don’t Mess with Texas” came from the Texas Department of Transportation in 1986, a slogan intended to reduce littering.

In conclusion: Bob’s wrong, Private Lives closed without incident, Texas has a wussy motto, and “Don’t Mess with Texas” is really about littering. Now, for dessert, please enjoy cypresstexasholdem.com, a weird link I found while digging for information about Bob and his fair city.


CommentsRSS icon

not to defend the republic of texas, but "don't mess with texas" was born as part of an anti-litter campaign.

"Friendship?" "Alki?" The motto of my home State, Hawai'i is "Ua mau ke ea o ka aina i ka pono," or "The life of the land is perpetuated in righteousness."

Beat that!

Smoking is one of my favorite things in theatre. When you are sitting anywhere near the stage you can actually smell the smoke, it is an intimate connection to the characters and the action on stage. You cannot get anything like it at the movies (not even when John Waters did Smell 'o vision.)

I assume the comment about public health trumping the First Amendment is referring to can't-yell-"Fire!"-in-a-crowded-theater sorts of issues. And yeah, it's not clear that that applies here at all.

Whatever your stance on the smoking ban itself, I think Bob might have a point. I'm guessing that actors aren't allowed to mace the audience, chloroform the audience, expose the audience to gamma radiation, etc., under the aegis of freedom of speech--because public health trumps the First Amendment in those cases. If the state decides that cigarette smoke is dangerous to people, like mace, chloroform, or gamma radiation, it makes sense that actors wouldn't be allowed to expose the audience to cigarette smoke either. Obviously most people don't think cigarette smoke is as dangerous as chloroform, so I'd be surprised if a law like that were rigorously enforced (and I don't actually know how Washington's smoking ban is written anyway). But I do think it's fair to say public health trumps freedom of speech in many cases. Oliver Wendell Homes: "The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins."

As for Texas, everyone knows they're a bunch of pussies. Otherwise why the macho posturing? Hiding weakness, clearly.

Holmes

Alki might be our state motto, but "Say WA" is our new slogan.

I think that takes us down a peg or 10 as far as respectability goes.

I don't understand why it seems that the author feels like we misrepresented the "Don't mess with Texas" slogan. Of course its part of a littering campaign, who said it wasn't. If you were to come here that would be very apparent. Its to keep our roads clean because Texans pride themselves on their roads. As for our real motto "Friendship" I fail to see anything wrong with it. Although our policies are pretty crappy, I say this as a proud bleeding heart liberal, the people here are quite friendly. As a native West Texan who currently lives and goes to school in Austin, I feel qualified to say all these things.

I don't understand why it seems that the author feels like we misrepresented the "Don't mess with Texas" slogan. Of course its part of a littering campaign, who said it wasn't. If you were to come here that would be very apparent. Its to keep our roads clean because Texans pride themselves on their roads. As for our real motto "Friendship" I fail to see anything wrong with it. Although our policies are pretty crappy, I say this as a proud bleeding heart liberal, the people here are quite friendly. As a native West Texan who currently lives and goes to school in Austin, I feel qualified to say all these things.

I don't understand why it seems that the author feels like we misrepresented the "Don't mess with Texas" slogan. Of course its part of a littering campaign, who said it wasn't. If you were to come here that would be very apparent. Its to keep our roads clean because Texans pride themselves on their roads. As for our real motto "Friendship" I fail to see anything wrong with it. Although our policies are pretty crappy, I say this as a proud bleeding heart liberal, the people here are quite friendly. As a native West Texan who currently lives and goes to school in Austin, I feel qualified to say all these things.

back in the day, a group i was part of shot pistols at an audience (blanks of course), threw wet newspapers at them and subjected them to loud noises. we also had actors jerking off on stage, so i am baffled abotu the assertion that actors cannot subject audiences to this or that action. it was a brecht production btw

the way the ban is written the county can go after catholic masses. although why they are leaving the hookah bars alone for cultural reasons while hassling folks at regular bars is beyond me. why aren't they also trying to repeal the med mj law too. smoke is moke.

Whatever man. Our state motto might be one thing, but what the people hear is the slogan we hired a PR company handsomely to come up with.

"Say WA?"

Good one, dudes.

brendan--it's nobody's fault but your own that you don't realize "don't mess with texas" is the state's anti-litter campaign slogan not the state motto. your ignorance waters down pro-smoking on stage argument, of which you happen to be correct.

Uh, Jebus? That's what Brendan said in his post. See, right there it says '“Don’t Mess with Texas” came from the Texas Department of Transportation in 1986, a slogan intended to reduce littering.' So I'm not really sure what he's being ignorant of.

fnarf, a campaign slogan is not the same thing as an official state motto.

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