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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Public Grooming Revolution?

Posted by on April 25 at 7:58 AM

The text below was posted yesterday in the I, Anonymous forum. The revolution is upon us..

Public groomers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your chains! Mocked by mainstream society too long have we hid in the shadows, clipping our our nails in basements and trimming our nose hairs in dank back alleys. No more! The Stranger has became a tool of those who would have us grovel and live in shame! I propose that we strike back at those who would deride and humiliate us. May 1st all public groomers should converge on the offices of The Stranger at 12:00PM and groom before the public eye with our heads held high! Shave in your cars or on the bus! Pluck your eyebrows! Floss while bellowing up at the heavens! Hold your nail clippers high! Unite! Public grooming day is at hand!

Counting the minutes till May…


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It seems that it would be best to appease them...let them have their little display. It will only make them feel that they're in control. In their newfound "freedom" from mockery they'll only be working within the system. Until the day that they seize control of the mockers' presses, they'll still be under the jackboot of the anti-public-grooming class. Muwahahahaha!

since dumping boiling oil on them would be illegal, not to mention logistically difficult, you should give them a dose of their own grooming medicine.

you should all get haircuts, and then shower them with your shorn locks. or just go to some barbershops and ask for the day's sweepings for an art project.

God, no! Should an army of oppressed public groomers materialize outside the Stranger, there will be no conflict, as I will be too busy gaping in awe at what promises to be the most amazgin performance art work of the year.

However, the hair shower sounds like a great addition...

Thanks, hair shower! Goodbye, breakfast!

I have a "little hoof" that grows off one of my vertebrae and out thru the back. Anyone want to put down the grooming brush and pick up the box grater whilst I clippty-clop in place with a mixture of discomfort and delight? Careful, the dust can make you coughy or, rather, gacky.

This is the only city I've ever known where people freak out about others clipping their nails in public.

Seriously, this seems to be a neurosis unique to left-wing West Coast urbanites.

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