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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

McClellan Quits Worst Job in the World

Posted by on April 19 at 8:18 AM

Scott McClellan, professional dissembler extraordinaire, resigned from his position as White House press secretary this morning, clearing the way for a new liar-in-chief. I can’t imagine one could perform that job without developing countless tumors all over one’s body, so I wish him the best of luck. (Not really.)

In related news, Karl Rove announced that he has given up his role as “senior policy coordinator” and will begin to concentrate more on politics, no doubt with a focus on removing any tiny shreds of democratic principles and integrity that may still be clinging to the November Congressional elections.

It’s all part of the White House’s ongoing campaign to pretend to change things in the face of a rapidly spreading realization among average Americans that it’s too late.


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I am SO glad McClellan stepped down. Have you ever heard someone swallow so freaking loudly when he talks? You can actually hear the frothy spittle forming at the corners of his mouth. If you’re going to have a dancing monkey mouthpiece, at least find one that isn’t an assault to the senses.

With McClellan having been replaced, I feel that adrenal swell in my belly -- the one you feel when, having lost love and miraculously having found it again, you close your eyes as your new love prepares to say "I love you" for the very first time.

Of course, in this case, don't neglect to substitute in the phrase "ongoing investigation".

You can cut the tumors off a cancerous body, but often the cancer remains.

Now, why on earth would I have the image of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic in my head?

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