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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

I Owe the Seattle Rep $2.50

Posted by on April 12 at 9:59 AM

A couple of issues ago, I wrote this column about small crimes in and around theaters, which contained this passage:

In keeping with the petty-theft theme, I attended the opening of 9 Parts of Desire at the Seattle Rep and, unable to find any outlaws associated with the production, swiped a cookie from the concession table. The play, based on interviews with Iraqi women, is excellent as documentary, but so-so as drama. The set, with its tiled walls and crumbling concrete, is impressive. The cookie, full of chocolate chips, was pleasantly moist.

This morning, in my mailbox, I found this:


CommentsRSS icon

oh, the humanity.

well, at least they know you.

Dear Seattle Rep:

If you want Brendan, you're going to have to get through me.

Dan Savage

Haha, that's hilarious! Obviously they are just having a good time with you since they called it a "moist" chocolate chip cookie. And you should write a check to them for $2.50, of course.

At least you know they read your blog.

Well, that brings up an interesting question, From Kansas. Of course, the nice thing to do would be to pay the $2.50. But would it violate the spirit of the story to pay for something I stole for the sake of stealing?

Perhaps I should give them $2.50 and deduct it as a donation on next year's taxes, thereby transferring the theft.

Why not deduct it as a business expense?

Was it really that moist a cookie (or was it a forbidden fruit thing)? The last chocolate chip cookie I *paid for* at the Rep was tasteless and dry. I'd have recommended swiping a brownie. I've had good luck with those.

Moist cookies are disgusting, like eating a turd.

I don't think paying for it now means that you no longer can say the cookie was stolen. You took it without asking or paying at the time, and didn't give it back (err...), and you were caught. The honorable thing would be to make amends, which wouldn't imply that the theft didn't happen.

send 250.00 - make amends, and theft is theft

Send a check for $2.51


Taking the deduction as a charitable donation could be prolematic if you don't have enough other itemized deductions on a Schedule A to beat the standard deduction. And taking it as an unreimbursed business expense might be just as problematic, for the same reason.

My advice would be to just pay the $2.50, since they know who you are, and who knows what kind of hassle they may give you the next time you show up - I mean, do you really want an usher shadowing your every move?

i think you should pay the rep for the stolen goods and also pull a shift at the concession table to atone for your sins.

pay them back--can you live with the layoff of some poor non-profit worker that inevitably follow if they cannot recoup the $2.50?

That's hilarious.

Send back a check for $2.50 with a loving note detailing how moist and delicious the cookie was, and asking if you can make a reservation to procure one of their moist, delicious cookies at their next show.

Set up an escrow account that can only pay out pennies.

Please, Brendan doesn't owe them anything. They got free advertising out of this. They obviously don't really care about the $2.50 (as a previous poster noted, it was noted on the invoice as a "Moist..Cookie").

Okay, send them a check that has VOID written across it. Be sure, however, to include the loving note.

having recieved a bill you have 30 days to respond. In 30 days if you have not paid or disputed the claim you will be liable for it and they can report it to the "KREDIT BUREAU". This is all going down in your permanent record. And make no mistake the NeoConMans Secret Police have already taken interest in your ill gotten moist chocolaty booty.

send them 250 pennies baked inside a batch of cookies.

I am watching you!

what the hell kind of cookie costs 2.50? i hope it was as big as your head.

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