Heaven
I wake up, make coffee, prepare my morning readings, and while going through the top headlines find the best, the ultimate piece of news: A group of very talented astronomers have found heaven floating through deep space. This is where I want to go when I die.
"Methanol, an organic (carbon-based) molecule, is a cousin of ethanol, which is found in alcoholic beverages. Methanol is not suitable for human consumption."
Sorry to burst your bubble, Chuck, but the only thing that heaven is gonna give you is a proper case of blindness.