On global warming: “Canada is being enthusiastic about a meaningless public relations stunt by the U.S. government.”

On its war dead: “Canada’s government defended on Tuesday a controversial decision not to lower flags to mark the deaths of soldiers killed in Afghanistan, denying it wanted to play down an increasing death toll. Critics say the move—as well as a decision to ban media from filming the arrival of the coffins at Trenton air force base in Ontario—showed Prime Minister Stephen Harper was following the lead of President Bush.”

Canadian stocks are dropping, its cows are crazy, its health care is privatizing, and its lunch monitors are weirdly dictatorial about how Filipino children eat their lunches.

And I used to think you were cool…