A cry for help
I’ve been alternating between denial and panic for weeks, but time is running out and I need to own up: My beautiful teenage brother, Charles Christopher Madrid IV (Carlos), will turn 14 on April 28.
I have no idea what to get him for his birthday. I feel out of touch with his tastes because I haven’t lived with him for years, but I’ll be damned if I give up my title as the reigning Queen of Cool City to (ack!) my mother.
These are the things I know about my brother: He likes music, especially Common Market, Blue Scholars, Atmosphere, DEL tha funkee homosapien, and Hieroglyphics.
He is not into sports, his peers, or talking in complete sentences. But he loves music, reading about music, computer games, and skate boarding. (and His Sister)
I’m leaning towards a music-y gift because that’s what he seems to dig the mostóbut I’m open to any ideas (Please Jesus). Last year for his birthday I bought him a fat gift certificate to I-tunes. For Christmas, I bought him tickets to see MF Doom at Chop Suey (and then I made him take me as his date).
I hear vague mutterings from my male friends about the sea of perversion all boys dive into with relish at this age, but I am not looking for that kind of gift. He is my little brother. No boobies, no drugs.
Let me make it clear: I need to find something in the next three weeks suitable enough to impress/delight a teenage boy and his thug friends so that they continue to think I am cool. And just maybe one of them will finally get up the nerve to ask me to junior high prom.
Because if my mother gets asked and I do not, I will Simply Die.
Anyone willing to advise me on brilliant gifts for teenage boys? Please?