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Monday, April 10, 2006

A cry for help

Posted by on April 10 at 14:58 PM

I’ve been alternating between denial and panic for weeks, but time is running out and I need to own up: My beautiful teenage brother, Charles Christopher Madrid IV (Carlos), will turn 14 on April 28.

I have no idea what to get him for his birthday. I feel out of touch with his tastes because I haven’t lived with him for years, but I’ll be damned if I give up my title as the reigning Queen of Cool City to (ack!) my mother.

These are the things I know about my brother: He likes music, especially Common Market, Blue Scholars, Atmosphere, DEL tha funkee homosapien, and Hieroglyphics.

He is not into sports, his peers, or talking in complete sentences. But he loves music, reading about music, computer games, and skate boarding. (and His Sister)

I’m leaning towards a music-y gift because that’s what he seems to dig the mostóbut I’m open to any ideas (Please Jesus). Last year for his birthday I bought him a fat gift certificate to I-tunes. For Christmas, I bought him tickets to see MF Doom at Chop Suey (and then I made him take me as his date).

I hear vague mutterings from my male friends about the sea of perversion all boys dive into with relish at this age, but I am not looking for that kind of gift. He is my little brother. No boobies, no drugs.

Let me make it clear: I need to find something in the next three weeks suitable enough to impress/delight a teenage boy and his thug friends so that they continue to think I am cool. And just maybe one of them will finally get up the nerve to ask me to junior high prom.

Because if my mother gets asked and I do not, I will Simply Die.

Anyone willing to advise me on brilliant gifts for teenage boys? Please?

CommentsRSS icon

there is a great book about graffiti that he may like, seeing as hip hip and graffiti go hand in hand,

good luck!

word on the graf. book--gave it to my 16 year old bro for xmas and he loved it. other thoughts: what about gittin' the boy a geeee-tar? or the cool-kid from the big city combo pack: stranger urban archipelago issue framed, itmfa hat, easy street tee, etc, etc. another possibility, that i think rocks hard: some concert poster prints. Fabu graphics plus kick ass street cred. Get em some good shit and you'll be in like Flynn for cool sister of the year.

Those are brilliant ideas--thank you both. And thanks for the link to the book, less-than-sign, greater-than-sign (and curse you movable type for making me spell that out).

You have made my job so much easier.

*Big sloppy kisses*

Does he live in Southern Idaho? If so, either a rifle or four-wheeler would be entirely appropriate for that age level.

Hey, babe,

Couple o' things, just so's you don't go in debt for your formal wear just yet...
1) Ian will never ask you to junior prom. You cannot shamelessly screech up the neighborhood about someone's pubescent (alleged) likeness to a 'My Little Pony' one year, shaking that big-eyed little girl horse toy and it's platinum mane at the skulking group of sullen skaters, and toady up to him the next as if he'd want to expose you more fully to his peer group. FaReak.
2) Carlos isn't into skateboarding any more. Seems to be too cliche.
3) The graffiti book sounds good.
4) Can you ask Joel Connelly if I can register to vote using his cabin address? Whenever I'm in Washington, I lift heavy things and recycle like a crazed beaver (no pun intended). Voting in Idaho is just too depressing...



Blackalicious - The Craft

Great album to go with that graf. book

What about music lessons of some kind? My 14-year-old friend is taking drum lessons and he's always practicing spinning the sticks in his hands.

Fly him out here and take him to Sasquatch fest to see Common Market, Blue Scholars and many more LIVE with his cool big sis. I mean, c'mon, that would be way cooler than cool.

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