Slog - Comments on Tube sock gags all the rage at Scientology baby showers http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags ...or at least they should be, as the religion demands that women give birth without drugs, noise, or their partners present. According to The Sun, Katie Holmes, who was months ago implanted with Tom Cruise's alien seed, recently received a delivery of "birthing boards” that say absurd shit like, "Be silent and make all physical movements slow and understandable.” These boards will be hung about the room as Ms. Holmes pops out her baby without the gratification of healthy hollering (which Scientologists believe might cause the offspring to suffer psychic damage), or pain-dulling drugs. Note to theists: If you're going... Copyright 2007 Tue, 28 Mar 2006 14:02:58 -0800 Tue, 18 Apr 2006 14:50:31 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by fnarf Why are so many religions, and "religions", so devoted to finding new and unusual ways to make women in particular suffer? It seems perverse to me. Damaged.

And what the effing eff did L. Ron Hubbard know about childbirth, anyways?

]]> fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057612 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057612 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 14:19:53 -0800 Comment by bill never cross cienna. what she'd do with a steakknife i don't want to imagine.

]]> bill http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057683 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057683 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 14:49:05 -0800 Comment by shantelle Dear Cienna:

U R Dumb.

Sincerely, Shantelle.

]]> shantelle http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057702 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057702 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 14:54:38 -0800 Comment by fnarf Huh?

]]> fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057758 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057758 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 15:14:27 -0800 Comment by cienna Fnarf,

I suspect that it's because seeing women suffer is somehow more hilarious than seeing men suffer.

But I'm no theist, so that may be my ovaries talking.

]]> cienna http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057798 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057798 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 15:25:36 -0800 Comment by Juris "I suspect that it's because seeing women suffer is somehow more hilarious than seeing men suffer." -- Cienna

Go catch Mr.Savage by surprise and kick him in the nuts, then tell me if that still holds true.

Also, try to catch said act on film so the rest of us can 'discuss' it. Yes... Discuss...

]]> Juris http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057818 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057818 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 15:29:37 -0800 Comment by cienna I hate to say it, but I completely forgot about testicles. (Sorry my little friends!)

Apologies all around.

]]> cienna http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057834 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057834 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 15:35:30 -0800 Comment by fnarf Religion rarely celebrates hilarity, though. They seem to be more morbidly fascinated by suffering. Like a geek pulling the wings off a fly.

My testicles forgive you (frankly they're too stupid to know they were being insulted), as long as you promise not to kick them.

]]> fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057876 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057876 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 15:50:17 -0800 Comment by Dan Savage I edit Cienna. My balls have suffered enough.

]]> Dan Savage http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057935 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057935 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 16:23:09 -0800 Comment by keshmeshi Scientists say that the inside of a woman's womb is as loud as a vacuum cleaner. How they know that, I really can't guess. However, if it's true, what difference does a little noise in the delivery room make?

]]> keshmeshi http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057943 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057943 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 16:25:58 -0800 Comment by Zubadu "Scientists say that the inside of a woman's womb is as loud as a vacuum cleaner".

Yes; but are they CHRISTIAN scientists?

]]> Zubadu http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057997 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c057997 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 16:50:59 -0800 Comment by NOT MY NUTS Who is this person - midwife specialist now?

Madrid, dearie, you know less about childbirth than any woman I know, since they have all given birth.

There is a lot of support for no meds, slow and easy is best --- and the noise thing,well, they find that interesting.

You don't want to deliver in this fashion, don't.

I always thought the swimming pool delivery plan was interesting. Or the in the woods sanding up.

Sienna, get a beat in new music, get out of bad mouthing things you don't understand and have just encountered for the first time.

]]> NOT MY NUTS http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c058101 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c058101 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 17:41:16 -0800 Comment by fnarf "Sanding up" sounds even worse than total silence to me.

]]> fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c058128 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c058128 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 18:04:28 -0800 Comment by amazonmidwife In my experience, babies get freaked when moms get freaked. Adrenalin and cortisol do cross the placenta. So, quiet can be helpful for birth, esp. when caregivers are the ones being quiet. We're mammals, and most of us give birth best in dark, quiet, private places. HOWEVER, I know plenty of moms that are noisy, not just during birth but throughout their pregnancies (i.e. any mom having her second child while parenting a toddler "CRAYONS ARE FOR PAPER, NOT THE WALLS!"). The way to get an optimal birth for baby AND mom is to be sure that mom feels safe, supported and empowered to make her own choices during her labor, however she vocalizes (or not).

]]> amazonmidwife http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c058183 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c058183 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 19:43:14 -0800 Comment by fnarf What's the midwifery POV on forbidding so much as a groan when giving birth? Or forbidding the spouse's presence?

]]> fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c058186 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c058186 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 19:52:44 -0800 Comment by amazonmidwife can't speak for every midwife, but 'forbidding' something sounds like the opposite of empowering moms to make their own choices in labor to me. I haven't worked with a scientologist mom yet, but if she chose to believe in scientology and its tenets and wanted to birth in that prescribed fashion, I'd support her. The hard part of any midwife's work is determining (or helping a mom determine her own) true beliefs about birth v. the ones compelled upon her by her partner/family/friends/society or even her midwife, because that's where her power is. She's the one doing the work; I'm there holding the space in which she does it.

]]> amazonmidwife http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c058234 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c058234 Arts Tue, 28 Mar 2006 21:19:35 -0800 Comment by stilldumb Cienna,

U R Still Dumb.

Love,

Shantelle

]]> stilldumb http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c059106 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c059106 Arts Wed, 29 Mar 2006 09:56:58 -0800 Comment by Mom of 2 I agree with Cienna. I had an epidural during both births, but really like the steak knife idea. I just think it shouldn't be limited to the father/partner/spouse, but to anyone who aggrevates you during this painful, emotional experience.

]]> Mom of 2 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c106857 http://slog.thestranger.com/2006/03/tube_sock_gags#c106857 Arts Tue, 18 Apr 2006 14:50:31 -0800