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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

MFOTD

Posted by on March 15 at 11:19 AM

Mayonnaise kills lice!

Lice can be killed quickly, easily, cheaply and safely with mayonnaise. Simply get a new jar of mayonnaise (not Miracle Whip) from your kitchen shelf or at the grocery store. (Don’t grab one from the refrigerator, as it will be way too cold.) Grab a handful (or several) and cover all of you child’s hair, being sure to get behind the ears and down the neck a little. You can cover this with a plastic shower cap to keep the mayonnaise from dripping or getting onto your furniture. Leave the mayonnaise on for two hours to smother the lice and developed eggs. Then, remove the shower cap and throw it away, and shampoo the hair thoroughly. It may take two or more shampoos to get the hair clean.

Oh mayonnaise… Belle and Sebastian can’t do that!


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Just be careful of people coming up to you with tuna fish and trying to make a sandwich out of your hair.

I loatheeee Belle and Sebastian. Mayonaisse however, when applied reasonably, can be quite satisfactory on a well done sandwich or hamburger. Miracle Whip lovers are communists. As well as people who hate tomatos.

Sorry, but mayo does not in fact kill lice.

Lice can be killed with pesticides, but even those are not a 100% effective. The only way to eliminate lice is nit picking. Every day for 2 or 3 weeks, the infected person has to be sat down for an hour or so and combed carefully under good light with a lice comb. Every nit (louse egg) has to be pulled out.

Mayonnaise can be used as an immobilizer. It stops the hatched lice from moving around, so they can be combed out. A better agent, though, is good ol' lube. Squirt out a fat handful of lube and rub it into your hair. Use a stiff metal lice comb and comb the lube out. If you do it right, you pull the adult lice off your head and into the sink. The lube then washes off your head quite nicely.

So, this is your LFOTD. (lube or lice, you decide)

What kind of demented person puts mayo on a hamburger?

Ketchup on a hamburger, cooked rare. Mayo goes on BLTs.

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