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Wednesday, February 8, 2006

Worst. Sentence. Ever.

Posted by on February 8 at 11:59 AM

Following yesterday’s I, Anonymous extravaganza, the forum has been graced by a couple more entries riffing on the phenomenon of food service workers fucking with food.

Subject-line justifying example: “I’ve actually witnessed a waiter wipe his ass with someone’s steak.”

Read the full rant here.

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it would feel kind of cool to wipe your ass with a steak

Dear Sniggles: I'm not sure we have the same understanding of the word "cool."

"Afterwards I wiped my tail with a hen, with a cock, with a pullet, with a calf's skin, with a hare, with a pigeon, with a cormorant, with an attorney's bag, with a montero, with a coif, with a falconer's lure. But, to conclude, I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains."

-- Fran├žois Rabelais, Gargantua, 1534

The phrase "meat is murder" now takes on new meaning...

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