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Monday, February 6, 2006

Say It Aint So

Posted by on February 6 at 17:14 PM

This Bettis chap is an athlete? The whole essence of the word is crushed by his fat.


The body of an athlete is the body one wants to have in both senses. I do not desire this body in anyway.

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Bettis may not be a body builder, or have model-perfect washboard abs, but he is an amazing athelete. He could outrun you in a sprint, fake you out with quick moves, or just slam into you and knock you painfully on your ass and keep running like you weren't even there. Not just you, but 99.9% of the world's population.

Lots of sports, especially at the level of professional or Olympic sports, have atheletes with body types that are so specialized that they look nothing like a Calvin Klein model. Would you say an Olympic weightlifter isn't an athelete? Or a scrawny marathoner? Or a tiny, huge chested 13-year-old gymnast?

Uh, I guess I should specify that that's a barrel-chested 13-year-old. Olympic gymnasts can't have breasts.

Jerome Bettis WAS an amazing athlete. Now he's a candidate for a cameo in Big Momma's House 3.

The Rhodesians did a job on Mudede. For him to think that the fat Brits, Scotsmen, Aussies, New Zealanders and white South Africans who play rugby are great looking athletes is truly more pro British crap. Colonization is a motherfucker!

The North American football game has his fair share of fatties, and sorry athletes. All sports have them. Yes, even soccer ( football) has them. Even the great Maradona looked fat right before his retirement, but he could still drill a football up any hole. American football is the same, but it also has the gracefulness of a Jerry Rice, and the poetry of Joe Montana or the speed of Michael Vick, along with brute strength. To watch the glorious catches of Lynn Swann in years past or Terell Owens now is to think of Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue, in other words, beauty and violence all in one.

There are different players, with different body types, it’s after all, a gladiator sport. Nothing like British or New Zealandars pushing Brits with bad teeth in mud, and yelling oi oi oi Mate!

And for non NFL loving Mudede, this is Jerome Bettis now, as an old man, he is at least 65 years old now (ok maybe he is only 50) and his glory days are long gone. He was different back in the day and I can guarantee you that he would have ran over any Rhodesian, Aussie, Afrikaner, Irishman, Ulsterman or Brit in his days. Just like the great Jim Brown mastered games like cricket and was a world class Lacrosse player, pimpiping any European that dared stand in front of him, clocking them mo fos like his name was Dolomite , He could have been a world class Lacrosse or Cricket playa(er), hell he could have pimped any rugby player and made them go buy him a sammich, but chose instead to become the greatest running back in the hisotry of the NFL.

Sumo Wrestlers are athletes.

When did Jim Brown master CRICKET? I don't think so. Cricket, like baseball, requires specialized hand-eye skills that don't have anything to do with strength (though strength helps too). There's never really been an athlete who excelled at both football/soccer/rugby and baseball/cricket. Deion Sanders is about the closest; Bo Jackson was famous for being famous but stunk at baseball. Maybe Jim Thorpe, a thousand years ago. Someone like Edgar Martinez could continue to hit baseballs long after his legs left him.

I totally agree on the athletic prowess of Bettis and company, though; the ability to propel that much weight with that much speed and quickness is unknown in any other sport. There are faster people than big NFL men, but no men as heavy who are as fast.

Soccer players are far more fit than NFLers. Even "fat" Maradona wasn't THAT fat. Not as fat as he is today.

However, in a head-to-head I'd take Aussie rules over NFL for toughness. Those fellows are BIG and fast and tough, and they play without pads. The pads are what make the weight possible, not innate toughness.

Two-word answer to Mr. Mudede: Babe Ruth.

P.S. My admiration for Jerome Bettis has little to do with his athletic prowess.

Jim Brown was an all American in Lacrosse at Syracuse. The cricket comment came via a documentary I saw about him regarding his High School career. Jim also played, basketball, track and than quit to become an activist in black economic development and then became a Blaxploitation film star, and stars in that wonderful midnight classic, Three the Hardway, with Fred Williamson and Jim Kelly.

From what I have seen of Rugby, I will put my money on Jerry Rice’s speed and athleticism any day of the week, and put an Aussie in front of Junior Seau back in da day and I gurantee you he will be on his arse. Junior Seau was also a lightning fast Linebacker and could hardly be called "small".

I have no beef with Futbol and the great Maradona, but he was tubby when he played his last game for Napoli. I agree that footballers are generally less fat than North American Footballers.

This was a pic with humorous comment. While the defenses for Bettis is admirable, they miss the point. When you think about those at the top, you are expecting someone in tip-top shape. Seahawks lost after the game was more or less stolen. A few light hearted jabs are in order. Bettis has had better days, and his team should have been on the losing end of yesterday. With some luck, maybe we can have a rematch next year, with more qualified referees. If so, will Bettis make the cut?

Eat my fat - what utter crap.

This poster plays with Barbie and Ken too much.

is it just me or does bettis look a lot like bun b?
replies of 'who?' not accepted.

That Jim Brown could absorb the basic principles of cricket in a short time doesn't mean he "mastered" the game. Remember what a godawful baseball player Michael Jordan was, particularly at the hard part -- hitting. A high school demo hardly counts as an innings against Dennis Lillee.
Neither Junior Seau nor Jerry Rice ever had to play for more than ten seconds at a go before breaktime. The sheer fitness is a major factor. If any given Aussie could fake any NFL linebacker out just once, he'd be gone. No NFLer could survive in a continuous game like rugby union or Aussie rules. They'd be coughing up blood on their hands and knees.

And vice-versa, most likely. The whole point of Mudede's article, if here was one, is that athleticism = fitness, which is clearly not true; there are several types of athleticism that barely require any fitness at all. It's interesting that big-time American sports are ALL mostly-stop-and-a-little-go.

However, the myth that Babe Ruth was fat is promulgated by people who think that pictures taken of him late in his career are representative. They are not. He was an amazing physical specimen in his youth, slender and whip-fast. Remember he was the best pitcher in the league before he was a star hitter.

I think I'd rather define 'tip-top shape' by practical results, not visual aesthetics.

Charles, it usually takes 2-3 professional "athletes" to tackle Jerome.

The looks do not always make the man. Many elite professional athletes lack the rippled good looks of bodybuilders. Ever notice the skinny armed, potbellied paunch of Peyton Manning? And he's arguably the NFL's best quarterback.

On his WORST day, Jerome Bettis could snap your pencil neck with 2 fingers! These guys burn more energy in 1 game than most people do in a year. Who says "athletes" have to be skinny?

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