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Wednesday, February 8, 2006

Note from a Horse Fucker

Posted by on February 8 at 12:11 PM

One of the delights of The Stranger’s recent Regrets Issue was an ostenible letter from the horse that fucked that guy to death in Enumclaw.

Today brought a response to the Enumclaw horse’s letter, from a man whom I shall allow to speak for himself:

The letter of regrets from the Enumclaw horse [Regrets, Dec. 29]: Your attempt at satirical humor, in my opinion, did not work. Did you think this was funny? You are mistaken. And, to bring up a few other pieces of misinformation—NO,it does not require teamwork to have horse sex!! I’ve been involved with animals for over 45 years, and getting stallion fucked for about 30. My roomie has also been sucking on and getting fucked by stallion cock, for about that same amount of time. We have never needed any kind of helpers to get the job done. I chat with about 100 other horse guys, from around the world. They have never needed assistance either, in getting horse fucked. And, I am sure, the other approximately 30 or so million others, in this country, which also participate in animal sex, would concur with that. Plus, I communicate with about a dozen of so fistees and fisters from several English speaking countries, who have expressed an interest in the horse sex concept. This activity also DOES NOT KILL people [nor injure/harm/cause pain/victimize animals]. I have also talked with an ER tech, at one of the larger local hospitals, who claims, they see about 11 to 14 colon type injuries a year, in King County. Out of all of the people I have mentioned above, over the last 25 years, I have only known about 5 rectal injuries, 4 of which were induced from stallion sex. All are still alive. One guy, has had the same injury twice, and is still going at it. He can take a full sized stallion’s cock entire length. Which is something that many fistees can accomplish, in equivalency, with some guy’s arm? Neither my roomie nor I have ever had any negative medical situations, from getting horse fucked. Two other facts: the deceased, was not dumped at the hospital. He was alive, up to the point of reaching the emergency room. Nor did he give that horse the nick name of Mr. Big Dick [someone else did that]…

The moral: Never doubt the self-sufficiency of a horse fucker.

Blet.


CommentsRSS icon

30 million horse fuckers in the US? Fascinating.

I think I just threw up a little.

I am sure, the other approximately 30 or so million others, in this country, which also participate in animal sex...

Uhhhh.. ?

Wouldn't that be about 10% of the total U.S. population?

The final word of this post...I LOL'd. Do you speak Russian, David?

It's actually just that 30 million people can't resist this face.

Wow. Thought I doubt the 30 million figure, that's quite the letter there. Now I'm humming, "I'm back in the saddle again..."

Re: the final word of this post: Nope, I don't speak Russian. "Blet" is merely my favorite written approximation of vomiting.

Blet. Blet. Blet.

I don't doubt there are 30 million horse fuckers in this country. What I want to know is, what is the political breakdown? Is horse fucking more of a Republican or Democrat thing. Or were they all Libertarians?

does it all start with an accidental attempt to milk a stallion?

There are no accidents.

Statistically speaking, I think this means that a horse has a better chance of finding a date than a gay man in the United States. :-[

"Mr. Big Dick"

roflcopter

30 million, huh...

So, there are more people riding the hershey highway w/ a horse than there are NASCAR fans?

No wonder Kitsap county isn't building a race track...

I can picture it, but I'm still having a hard time believing it. A HORSE? This has been getting press for how long now, and it's still just as unfathomable as it was the first time I read about it. Getting horny on the idea is one thing. Doing the deed is another. It's a fucking horse, for crying out loud!

i am also in disbelief, but my skepticism is fueled by the fact that there is NO WAY you can let a horse fuck you without some help. COME ON! it's gotta take at least one spotter.

this whole story has intrigued me since day one and will undoubtedly haunt me to the grave. thanks, dave, for re-opening the wound.

jesus.

Kerri:No,, really,, no spotter is required. There are video clips, available from the net, to demonstrate that, visually.
SeeingIsBelieving: Yes,, that is most of the appeal,, it is a fucking horse,, that's doing the fucking!!
No,, that's about 30 million, that are involved with bestiality,, the horse only numbers, for them, is about 4 million.
A lot of these people, are not online, but are spending most of their time, at jobs, supporting themselves and their lifestyle. Not out committing crimes,, like some anti-bestiality, close minded people want you to believe.
Rolfcopter: Yup,, as with all mammals,, the male anatomy, does vary in size-Mr. Big Dick, is one, with a few bonus points, in the size dept..
Sigourney Beaver: As for their political breakdown,, that varies,, but for the most part, they are opposed to those, who in their minds, need to make everyone else conform to their narrow minded religious beliefs/restrictions. HH

The question I have is where's the OUTRAGE over gays/ straight people getting injured during anal sex and dieing because of problems after that ?

Sounds the the MEDIA as a WHOLE is ONLY out for the ALLMIGHTY rateing points and the money they bring in .

Very interesting site, beautiful design, thank.

Very interesting site, beautiful design, thank.

What irks me is that a gay-, fisting- and all other kind of "perversion"-friendly site like The Stranger can be so strictly anti-Zoophilia (people "blet"ing).

I'm no horsefucker myself, but I say
"As long as it hurts noone, what business do we have disrespecting it"?
I'm straight and I fight to the death to defend gay people from discrimination. Now I'm starting to wonder why.

Or is beating down on an even smaller sexual minority now an accepted double-standard among gays?

- Sparky, in San Francisco & Germany

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