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Thursday, February 16, 2006

Mollywood!

Posted by on February 16 at 14:00 PM

I love me some Mormons, and I love me some Mormon movies, and I really really love LDSfilm.com, which allows me to track both so-called “Mollywood” movies and mainstream fare that happens to feature Mormons in leading roles. Mormons, if you weren’t already aware, are statistically more likely to be hot blonds. (Hot blonds who believe in crazytalk, true, but hey—you’re not dating them, you’re just watching them run around Antarctica in Polartec. Errr.)

Now for some things you can either learn or extrapolate from LDSfilm.com.

1) The upcoming film Thank You for Smoking contains possibly the first-ever on-screen coitus involving a Mormon and a Scientologist. (I learned this while “researching” for my interview with director Jason Reitman this morning.)

2) Brokeback Mountain, which was booted off the schedule of a Utah theater owned by Utah Jazz owner Larry Miller, stars a wholesome Mormon girl by the name of Anne Hathaway. (She’s also the worst actor in the movie—is there some axis of evil that stretches between Mormonism, hotness, and minimal acting talent?)

3) There is a movie entitled Vampire Chicks with Chainsaws. I can do no further justice to this movie than has not already been done by LDSfilm.com:

Imagine a horror film with no swearing, sex, or nudity. Vampire Chicks fills that bill. However, it is NOT for kids. It is a horror film with chainsaws, vampires, and aliens, so it does contain some violence. This feature length film stars Adam Abram (“The Collectorsā€¯), Sarah Bell (“Familiar Spiritsā€¯), RaeAnn Christensen (“Take a Chanceā€¯), Oleysa Rulin (“Mobsters and Mormonsā€¯), Jamie Rosquist, and Jenna Linsonbee. Directed by Carlos Don Diego. All the myths about vampires are just that. Crosses, holy water, garlic—they do absolutely nothing! The only thing that can kill a vampire has been injected into Quinn, a rough and rugged hillbilly with a chip on his shoulder. Now he is wanted by both vampires and those who want to destroy them. Quinn’s only hope of survival is Karel, a renegade vampire warrior who does the unthinkable—she falls in love with him.

[Names in bold are Latter-Day Saints.]


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So, just to clarify: Sex, nudity, and swearing = offensive.
Drinking blood, cutting people up with chainsaws = wholesome entertainment!

And your point is. . .?

The point is to make shitty generalizations about Mormons.

The irony is that everyone seems to have one fucking gripe or another about someone else's religion.

I have no gripes. I love movies by and about Mormons, there's a web page tailored to my interests, and I decided to share.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is one of a few legitimately home-grown American religions. I find it fascinating.

In other LDS news, a wrestler by the name of Whitney Conder may become the first girl champion in Washington state high school wrestling. Awesome.

Ah, yes, I could tell immediately when you referred to the belief in Mormonism as 'crazytalk' that you obviously hold them in high esteem. Hypothesizing that there is an 'axis of evil that stretches between Mormonism, hotness, and minimal acting talent' was charming as well.

Any religion that teaches prejudice against gays, native-americans, and other people of color, while training girls and women to be subservient to men is worthy of a little scorn.

First off, to Jerod: AMEN BROTHAMAN SPEAKIT!

Secondly Annie dearest, as a child of Mormon converts I'd like to point out that I'm not a "hot blond", I'm a hot *Italian*. So nyeah. Please take your unsavoury fetish for the inbred Brigham Young Clan girls somewhere else. The only thing you're proclaiming is a love of all things insipid.

Third?
I could rant about the stupidity and horror I grew up around, but I'll spare everyone and save it for therapy proper.

Jerod, you have just described most religions.

Much like Lilly, I suppose, I have a more than my fair share of horror stories about Mormons. Instead of allowing myself to be victimized by my past, though, I choose to believe that our ability to be cruel and prey on the vulnerability of others is just one more thing that we all have in common and prefer to advocate for tolerance over ridicule and scorn particularly when one is perpetuating stereotypes.

I too have an interest in Mormon culture...not sure I would call it a fetish. For me it is more like I am an anthropologist peering in at a community that is close but also very foreign.

I don't necessarily think it is a strange religious community - I am just very curious about it.

Since it is sort of a closed network, I think that people like me are relegated to looking and reading about Mormons on websites and in books. It is easier for me to learn about what goes on that way. I would feel almost rude asking my acquaintances who are Morman some of the questions that I have. I'd rather be a sort of private investigator and peek in at their life and ways in more anonymous forums.

Look. Obviously there are different strains of Mormonism, and there is no denying that it is a world religion that has burst onto the world stage in the last 150 years. That should make it of interest for a lot of reasons.

There is also little point in denying that Mormonism has very authoritarian, misogynist, homophobic strands, and until recently the Mormon church was institutionally virulently racist.

It's also not too much of a stretch to characterize belief in revelation in upstate New York (and elsewhere), a commandment to wear long underwear that is believed to be bulletproof, and the idea that the Garden of Eden was in the Midwest, as "crazy talk." Of course, it's also crazy talk to propound ideas like the virgin birth, resurrection, parting seas, and the Garden of Eden (and talking snakes) in the first place...

Oh, yeah, and by the way, the blonds *are* hot. Just look at his bod!

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