Mollywood!
I love me some Mormons, and I love me some Mormon movies, and I really really love LDSfilm.com, which allows me to track both so-called “Mollywood” movies and mainstream fare that happens to feature Mormons in leading roles. Mormons, if you weren’t already aware, are statistically more likely to be hot blonds. (Hot blonds who believe in crazytalk, true, but hey—you’re not dating them, you’re just watching them run around Antarctica in Polartec. Errr.)
Now for some things you can either learn or extrapolate from LDSfilm.com.
1) The upcoming film Thank You for Smoking contains possibly the first-ever on-screen coitus involving a Mormon and a Scientologist. (I learned this while “researching” for my interview with director Jason Reitman this morning.)
2) Brokeback Mountain, which was booted off the schedule of a Utah theater owned by Utah Jazz owner Larry Miller, stars a wholesome Mormon girl by the name of Anne Hathaway. (She’s also the worst actor in the movie—is there some axis of evil that stretches between Mormonism, hotness, and minimal acting talent?)
3) There is a movie entitled Vampire Chicks with Chainsaws. I can do no further justice to this movie than has not already been done by LDSfilm.com:
Imagine a horror film with no swearing, sex, or nudity. Vampire Chicks fills that bill. However, it is NOT for kids. It is a horror film with chainsaws, vampires, and aliens, so it does contain some violence. This feature length film stars Adam Abram (“The Collectorsā€¯), Sarah Bell (“Familiar Spiritsā€¯), RaeAnn Christensen (“Take a Chanceā€¯), Oleysa Rulin (“Mobsters and Mormonsā€¯), Jamie Rosquist, and Jenna Linsonbee. Directed by Carlos Don Diego. All the myths about vampires are just that. Crosses, holy water, garlic—they do absolutely nothing! The only thing that can kill a vampire has been injected into Quinn, a rough and rugged hillbilly with a chip on his shoulder. Now he is wanted by both vampires and those who want to destroy them. Quinn’s only hope of survival is Karel, a renegade vampire warrior who does the unthinkable—she falls in love with him.
[Names in bold are Latter-Day Saints.]
So, just to clarify: Sex, nudity, and swearing = offensive.
Drinking blood, cutting people up with chainsaws = wholesome entertainment!