It's like a "padded cell on wheels"!

What those gals need is a Penguin Strap-on. That'll give them confidence and make the boys stand at attention!

Seriously, what makes the zoo think that these penguins would necessarily be enticed by females? In geese, some homosexual pairs mate for life without ever taking a female partner, even when aggressively pursued. In other types of geese, one of the pair sometimes takes a female for a season and both males help raise the offspring, but in the end the males stay together and the female moves on. Don't these zoo officials read Konrad Lorenz?!!?

The name of this song is Penguin in Bondage, An' it's a song that ah, deals with the possible variations on
a basic theme which is...well,
You understand what a basic theme is.
And then the variations include ah, manoeuvres that might be executed with the aid of ah, extra-terrestrial gratification and devices which might or might not be supplied in a local
department store or perhaps a drugstore but at very least in one of those fancy new shops that they advertise in the
back-pages of the free press. This song suggests to the suggestible listener that the ordinary procedure ah, That I am circumlocuting at this present time in order to get this text on television,
Is that ah, if you wanna do something other than what you thought you were gonna do when you first took your clothes off and you just happened to have some DEVICES around...
Then it's, it's not only okay to get into the PARAPHERNALIA of it all but...Hey! What did he say? Ready?

She's just like a penguin in Bondage, boy Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh...
Rennenhenninnahenninnenninahennn
Way over on the wet side
Of the bed!