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Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Bibleman!

Posted by on February 1 at 18:27 PM

After 2 or 3 minutes of exhaustive research, I’m fairly sure that these people aren’t even kidding.

bibleman.jpg

At first it seems funny, hilarious even. Especially when you watch the trailers to such instant classics as Breaking the Bonds of Disobedience (Bibleman: “The full armor of god… Never leave home without it!”) or contemplate a battle royale between the central themes of Defeating the Shadow of Doubt and Shattering the Prince of Pride.

But then you read things like “Bibleman’s spectacular battles against the flamboyant villains of Darkness are an exciting way to introduce your children to the Bible and the power of God’s Word” and “I pray that God will use our mutual efforts to plant seeds in our children that only He may harvest,” and suddenly… not so funny.


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If I'm not mistaken, Bibleman is played by the curly-headed blond friend on Charles in Charge. How the mighty have fallen.

Willie Aames.

If I call Bibleman, will he give me heathens as my slaves, and allow me to break them with an iron rod and dash them into pieces like a potter's vessel? (Psalms 2:7 - 2:9)

Bibleman, Bibleman
Does everthing the bible says he can
Lives his life by a holy plan
Bibleman.

willie's come quite a ways since Zapped.

Miles Peterson had everything a man could want in life - money, status and success. In spite of this, he felt his life was empty. Then he discovered the Word of the Lord (specifically, but not limited to the following verse from Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ because He gives me strength."), and was transformed. Imbued with superhuman powers, he became Bibleman, dedicated to fighting evil in God's name.

And apparently it's been around for TEN YEARS??? Madness.

Buddy from Charles in Charge should do a cameo on Mike Seaver's "Left Behind" movie series. That would be epic. Alex Keaton could drop by, maybe, but he actually had a career.

What's all this about "planting his seed in our children"? That doesn't sound very nice, Bibleman. I'm going to have come out against that, I'm afraid. They're not Catholic priests, are they?

I actually read an interview with Mr. Ames in one of those "men's magazines" (Maxim, Stuff, Hot Women in Bikinis [yeah I know, I should be ashamed I even opened one of them]) and he was saying he knew how dopey Bibleman was, but that he wanted it to be as campy as possible. He also told some great stories about filming a movie in Colombia while out of his head on coke, and having to hide from he drug dealers he ripped off. If coke-head turned Bible beater isn't the quintessential American story, I don't know what is.

I may be the only commenter who has actually seen an episode of this. It's not that bad, truly.

Granted, they lay on the God stuff but not heavily. Compares favorably to 'The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers'.

Okay,then: between Bible-Man and the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, who'd win?

i've seen bibleman. several times. always on acid.

The Power Rangers - they've got Zords compared to which the power of that God fellow is nothing.

Plus they've got Thuy Trang as the original Yellow ranger. Yummers.

Can God make Bibleman transform into a MegaZord he cannot lift?

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