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Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Because Christmas Wasn’t Enough

Posted by on February 7 at 11:33 AM

While Savage has his panties in a knot about religious extremists on the other side of the world, this idiocy just arrived in my inbox:

For immediate release Contact: Kim Lund

C-YA! (Catholic Youth Abstaining) to Protest the War on SAINT Valentine’s Day!

A demonstration in front of See’s and Hallmark’s on Tuesday, February 7 at noon in Westlake Center

What are you going to buy for your loved ones on February 14? A Valentine’s Day card? Or a SAINT Valentine’s Day card?

Why Are We Protesting?

Because there is a war on Saint Valentine’s Day. Our commercialized, secularized, hyper-sexualized culture has purged the “Saint” from February 14 and it’s time to fight back. Join us as we demand that stores who profit from SAINT Valentine’s Day remind shoppers that it’s a SAINT’s day by putting the “St.” back where it belongs!

What Do We Want?

Not much! We want the SAINT back where he belongs! That’s why we’re calling on See’s Chocolates and Hallmark Cards to stop leaving the SAINT out! Until they do, we’re going to ask people to stop shopping in See’s and Hallmark’s stores.

At our protest we will throw Valentine’s Day merchandise from See’s and Hallmark, such as cards and chocolates, into a largetrashcan.

What’s C’YA?

We are Catholic youth and young adults who have come together to raise awareness of abstinence and to reclaim St. Valentine’s Day. We still want people to celebrate the day, and St. Valentine is the Patron Saint of Love. But we want people to remember that God calls on us to only have sex within wedlock. Putting the Saint back in Saint Valentine’s Day will help accomplish this goal. We are not affiliated with any parish or established Catholic youth group. C’YA! is a DIY effort by faithful, hip, and chaste Northwest Catholic young adults.

Of course they have a websitewhat wacko religious group doesn’t nowadays?

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of course they dont mention that they have co-opted the god Eros's day.

I think all good Pagans should go and meet these Catholics and offer to have sex with them to celebrate the day of Eros.

At least they aren't burning down Halmark or threatening to cut off candy maker's heads.


OK, I assume they're not actually stealing all these goods and throwing them away, so doesn't that mean they're, um, BUYING them? And thus supporting the evil Secular Valentine's Day Industry? Or am I missing something?

Or maybe this is actually a joke. If so, it's a very good one. Bravo!

I especially love their irony-free objection that a chocolate cupid wrapper has a pagan symbol on it. =p

I'll be spending Valentine's Day making love, not war.

I'll be spending it smashing stuff—come to the Stranger's Valentine's Day Bash!

Wikipedia says:

"In 1969, as part of a larger effort to pare down the number of saint days of purely legendary origin, the Church removed St. Valentine's Day as an official holiday from its calendar."

So these Christians can blow it out their ass--even the holiday-happy Catholic Church formally abandoned this holiday decades ago.

My old Latin teacher told us that Valentine's Day came from the Lupercalia, one of the better Roman festivals, which involved preparing for spring by chasing the wolves out of Rome and then whipping all the young girls to promote fertility. I'm thinking the whipping was more of an in-fun whipping than a brutal, bloody whipping, but you never know with the Romans.

Anyway, I was thinking maybe Josh could bring back the old ways and get together a party for chasing the dogs out of Seattle this V-Day.

Why do they spell it "largetrashcan"? Sounds like a 90s alternaband.

I saw them at lunch, they are all too real. couldn't they be protesting something actually offensive like, i don't know, the DEATH PENALTY!!!! nopers, they are picketing a box of chocolates. Way to save the world, 1 creamy delicious camel chew and nut cluster at a time.

Shit, I thought it was bogus—we sent a photog down just in case, but I haven't heard from him yet. Perhaps the Catholic Youths tore him limb from limb?

That’s why we’re calling on See’s Chocolates ... to stop leaving the SAINT out!

Can't the Catholic Youths just get some priest to transubstantiate the saint into the chocolate and be done with it? (Take, eat ....)

Leaving SAINT in Saint Patrick's Day has truly made a difference in how holy I treat the holiday....swilling beer and kissing women wearing green until I'm threatened with arrest.

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