I am with Annie in believing that the law doesn’t apply to me while I’m biking. I don’t stop at stoplights if I can avoid it, I ride on the sidewalk when it suits me, and I don’t care if it gives bikers a bad name.

I am, in the end, in favor of people like Max Hardcore and Mike Hunt, even though I don’t want to be.

I am, like Annie and Dan, in favor of straight guys getting fucked in the ass by their girlfriends, as long as they wouldn’t really rather have someone like me providing that service, in which case I am more in favor of that.

I am for Cyndi Lauper, I don’t care what you say.

I am for driving around with only one working headlight for a year.

I am for carbs.

And I am for ditching the so-called “two-day waiting period,” even when everyone advises you to play it cool and not call him again so quickly.