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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Stupor Bowl XL

Posted by on January 24 at 12:04 PM

I have been quoted here as saying, “I can get behind a winner.” To clarify: There are many, many winners I cannot at all get behind, and even my propensity toward fair-weather sportsfanness is limited. I like spectator sports because and only because of my association of the spectating with snacks. I watched basketball with my dad for years, never registering a thing but deeply enjoying the popcorn; likewise, I read and ate peanuts at Mariners games. I missed Sunday’s game, but I saw the terrifyingly enthused Seagulls fans on the 11 o’clock local news. They were distorted and drunken (the latter I’m generally for, but I prefer it unaccompanied by the former). The newscaster said of the stadium, “This must be what ancient Rome was like” (hmmm). Paul Allen, now our philosopher king, said something along the lines of “The fans have been incredible. It’s such a moving experience… such warmth,” upon which the newscaster commented, “Have you ever heard such eloquence?” Jesus FUCKING Christónot to mention now this man (who wants to go into space! Hello, people!) will literally (okay, only nearly literally) OWN this town (“Allentown”óbarf) as every mouth-breathing sports fan (sorry, Brad) wants to hand him even more of whatever he likes on an even shinier silver platter.
One of the ‘Gulls, though, cutely said post-game, “WE’RE GOING BOWLING!”
Please pass the popcorn.

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my favorite quote that appeared in print yesterday was this little gem (in the p.i., i think):

"Football is the last bastion that brings people together," said Mr. Voodoo, aka Dante Grimaldi, who's been a season-ticket holder for four years and a fan since 1983. He became one just a few years later in life than his 10-year-old son, Giancarlo -- aka Baby Hawk.

"This crowd is gonna be louder," said Mr. Voodoo. "Led Zeppelin in their heyday going against the Rolling Stones wasn't any louder!"

i would, of course, argue that point. zep v. stones beats any football game. EVER.

my friend joey raised this point in response:

Yeah, and after we win the Super Bowl, sport-o-mania will hypnotize the city into paying millions of dollars to the cry baby Sonics (again) so they can buy a new stadium on our extended, future dime which we will still be paying when we watch the owner turn around and sell them for hundreds of millions of dollars *of profit*.

Plus, who's going to stand up all the knocked over newspaper boxes?

as for snacks, i like to make miniature tenderloin sandwiches with horseradish sauce. they really class up a superbowl party.

Snacks are the only reason I go to sporting events. YEAH SNACKS!

The ongoing Stranger coverage of Super Bowl XL has me gripped for the following two reasons:

1. The Stranger has had little to nothing positive to say about sports in Seattle ever.

2. The number of The Stranger writers who would ever admit to either 1) having any sports knowledge or 2) enjoying sports must be less than two.

But despite these obstacles, The Stranger will no doubt deign to have some sort of coverage of the event. Maybe Dan Savage will go to Detroit and lick someone's doorknob.

But whatever happens, I hope that everyone will be able to see the power that sport has to unite a city together, at least for a week or two.

And yes, Kerri, your tenderloin sandwiches are DIVINE.

"The newscaster said of the stadium,
‚ÄúThis must be what ancient Rome was like‚ÄĚ (hmmm)."

The newscaster was right! The crowd was rabidly bloodthirsty, the emperor was in attendance, and the events on the field had a Christians vs. lions vibe...

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