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Wednesday, January 4, 2006

simply terrifying

Posted by on January 4 at 10:51 AM

The Guardian Unlimited reports that Pat Robertson and the Christian right are negotiating with the Israeli government to build a Biblical theme park by the Sea of Galilee (where Jesus walked on water and then fed a few people some fish).

Just to refresh your memories: Pat Robertson is the man who called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and threatened Dover, PA with the wrath of God after Intelligent Design sympathizers were voted off the school board last November.

Now this man wants to build a theme park—a place ideally designed for Fun with Children. Not only does the phrase `bible theme park’ sound about as enjoyable as `friendly fire’, but:

A major part of the shore of the Sea of Galilee was Syrian until it was conquered by Israel in 1967. Syria and Israel are still officially in a state of war and Syria insists the return of the Golan Heights and the Galilee shore is a prerequisite for peace.

Who the fuck would want to traipse through a war zone to attend a theme park designed by Pat Robertson and friends?

I bet the man throws the worst house parties ever.

If that isn’t alarming enough:

Fundamentalist Christians believe that in order for Jesus to return, two preconditions are Jewish control of the land of Israel and the conversion of the Jews to Christianity.

Jews, what are you thinking?! How could this possibly end well?

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Calling for the assassination of Chavez is piddly compared with the other items on Robertson's resume. Like his long-term support for, and dirty business dealings with, "former" Liberian dictator (and Al Qaeda supporter and possibly member) Charles Taylor, currently living in spectacular exile in Nigeria. Taylor is responsible for more bloodshed than any other "human" since WWII -- yes, the war in Congo (which Taylor is responsible for) has taken more lives than Vietnam did (yes, even the Vietnamese). But Robertson thinks he's righteous. Pat has also used the charity money he raises to support his gold and diamond mining operations there. He is probably the worst scumbag currently resident in the USA. Even his fellow Kristian Kooks won't touch him on the Taylor thing.

He supports genocide. Not something you'd expect Jews to want to get close to...

Clearly, the way to convert Jews to Jesus is to get them to take the Tunnel of Jonah's Whale and Dante's Magic Hell Mountain rides all while having a people dressed as Noah and Jesus complete with over-sized heads and gloved hands standing by the ten commandments at the park's gateways. Benny Hinn will be essential to the park's success.

The Charles Taylor comments above are spot on. Robertson also has his hands in the war over the Congo's diamond mines. It all brings a whole new depth to his creepy insistence on "harvesting souls".

Thank God some of us do our research. I clearly haven't been dwelling on Pat Robertson enough.

I wonder if they'll give Jesus white mime gloves?

It is becoming more and more common in modern evagelicalism to respect Jews as the chosen people, as it literally says in the Bible. I'm not sure if it's better or worse than anti-semitism, but if Pat Roberts is involved, probably worse. Also, I love the two stipulations for Jesus' return. Those things can't be happening at the same time! If the Jews controlled the promiseland and then turned into Christians, Christians would control the promiseland, and therefore Jesus will not return. Us Jews were right the whole time about that guy.

"If the Jews controlled the promised land and then turned into Christians, Christians would control the promised land, and therefore Jesus will not return."

That's a logical contradiction! Nobody is going to believe the Bible once they find out there is a logical contradiction in it.

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