The Shock of Deluise-Related Lust
So there I was, enjoying an Arby’s commercial wedged between segments of Wife Swap when I noticed the guy in the Arby’s commercial was easy on the eye. I’d seen him before, in a Beneful dog food commercial, and here he was again, with his lunky goodlooks and meaty frame. Then it hit me: I was having impure thoughts about a Deluise.
For those born after the 1970s, the horror of having erotic thoughts about anything even remotely related to Dom Deluise will be hard to fathom. And David Deluise isn’t just RELATED to Dom Deluise—he was shot out of the end of Dom Deluise’s penis! He is the spawn of Dom.
Nevertheless, he’s dreamy. His acting career doesn’t look like much, building from such resume-padding roles as “Fratguy” in 2002’s Buying the Cow to the ostensible peak of 2003’s Bachelor Man. (For extra fun, read the back of the DVD case. Holy fuck!)
Still, he’s got such expressive eyebrows. He’s nice to waitresses. He looks nice with a beard. He even looks okay rendered in Claymation (though I’ve got a bad feeling about that hook). Sometimes it seems like he might even be a homosexual.
But no, he’s been married. And it looks like he’s capable of being an asshole. But that’s part of his Deluisey appeal.
I live in shame.
it's tuesday already?