Smobriety Charticle Five

Weight: 173 pounds

Pulse Rate: 68 beats per minute

Song Stuck In Head: “Open Arms,â€� Journey

Horniness Decrease, Since Yesterday: - 73%

Risk of Smoking Resumption: Candy Apple Red
(Author intends to place self in high-risk situation tonight)

Special Notes: Five days is the generally-accepted point where all major concentrations of nicotine have supposedly left the system; the next really significant hurdle is at the three-week mark, where, supposedly, the habits of smoking cessation have changed to the point where they `stick.’

Symptoms: Insomnia, lack of concentration, agitation, weird sticky sweats, paranoia, manic giggling, sudden lack of interest in any celebrities whatsoever except for a sudden bile-filled burst of anger at Matt LeBlanc, anxiety, back pain.

It’s pretty amazing—my opinions on the Happy Pills have managed to do a complete 180 in twenty-four hours. All of a sudden, I’m feeling vaguely speedy all the time, and for something in the drug class “antidepressant,â€� it’s certainly kicking up some strange emotional reactions. One moment, I’m tittering like a schoolgirl, the next I’m unbelievably anxious, on the verge of tears and needy for attention. And the insomnia seems to be getting worse: a few more nights of this and I’ll be a candidate for heavy Botox treatments. I’m considering weaning myself off the Happy Pills entirely within the next week.
And as for the cigarettes? The work part wasn’t as difficult as I thought—so few of my co-workers smoke that it’s certainly not as much of a “me-tooâ€� issue that I thought it would be. The only thing that I can really do to test myself in those regards, since the Bupe makes drinking a seizure risk, is to place myself in an environment where tons of people are smoking. I intend to do that tonight.
(Cue dramatic music..)