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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Miming Jesus lost forever?

Posted by on January 11 at 15:19 PM

Israel is now refusing to negotiate with Pat Robertson over his beloved Biblical Theme Park because of Robertson’s callous (yet unsurprising) criticism of Prime Minister Ariel Sharon following Sharon’s stroke last week.

Blaming Sharon’s stroke on his decision to pull Israelites from the Gaza Strip, Robertson said:

“He was dividing God’s land, and I would say: ‘Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course’… God says: ‘This land belongs to me, and you’d better leave it alone’.”

Today on Robertson’s show, God added, “This land belongs to me, and also I demand a theme park. Where is my flock of miming Jesuses with their hilariously oversized, bobbing heads? I will bitch slap you, Israel.”

Fortunately, Avi Hartuv, who works in Israel’s tourism ministery, has clarified Israel’s position for God and man:

“We will not do business with [Robertson] - only with other evangelicals who don’t back these comments,” he said. “We will do business with other evangelical leaders, friends of Israel, but not with him.”


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I was ready to ride the Barrabas roller coaster, and the Pontius Pilate Ferris wheel. =(

Oh well, back to TV images of Palestinian boys throwing stones at Israeli Defense Forces’ armed vehicles and endless, insane Infatadas, and white European people crushed by bull dozers, and conservative Israelis schmoozing with nutty North American Christian rightists, and endless, scary Hezbollah parades, and female suicide bombers and Israeli settlers shooting at Palestinians and Netanyahu leading a new right wing government and……

There's still hope for the Noah's Ark water ride and the Sodom House of Mirrors! The Israelis said that they won't do business with Pat, but will with other Evangelicals. That leaves room for miming Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. What Pat has to do is get one of his corporations to front he money and let someone else do the negotiating for him.

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