For anyone who read A Million Little Pieces, The Smoking Gun’s expose on James Frey and his wild ways is a fascinating read.

I zipped through the book quite a while ago (before Oprah, thankyouverymuch), and even though I thought it was a thrilling and disgusting page-turner (oh my god, his teeth! I cringed for days!), Frey’s bravado struck me as false in some places, and TSG finally reveals why: his non-fiction accounts of his own badassary have more than a bit of fiction to them. This article is nearly a novel itself, but worth the read if you have time.

Some highlights: Here is Frey’s account in A Million Little Pieces of his arrest in Ohio that resulted in charges of Assault with a Deadly Weapon, Assaulting an Officer of the Law, Felony DUI, Disturbing the Peace, Resisting Arrest, Driving Without a License, Driving Without Insurance, Attempted Incitement of a Riot, Possession of a Narcotic with Intent to Distribute, and Felony Mayhem.

As I was driving up, I saw her standing out front with a few of her friends. I was staring at her and not paying attention to the road and I drove up onto a sidewalk and hit a Cop who was standing there. I didn’t hit him hard because I was only going about five miles an hour, but I hit him. The Cop called for backup and I sat in the car and stared at her and waited. The backup came and they approached the car and asked me to get out and I said you want me out, then get me out, you fucking Pigs. They opened the door, I started swinging, and they beat my ass with billy clubs and arrested me. As they hauled me away kicking and screaming, I tried to get the crowd to attack them and free me, which didn’t happen.

What a badass. In the book, this stunt lands Frey in jail for three months.

Now, here is the arresting officer, Sergeant Dave Dudgeon’s police report from that incident, as reported by TSG:

While on foot patrol at about 11 PM on October 24, Dudgeon was standing in front of a knick-knack store called the Tole House when he spotted a 1989 white Mercury pull out of a nearby bank parking lot. The driver then attempted to park in a no parking zone directly across the street from the Granville firehouse and a few doors down from a bar/pizzeria popular with Denison students. The vehicle’s right front tire rolled up onto the curb, missing a power pole by just a few inches.
Dudgeon, then 32 and on the Granville force for 3-1/2 years, approached the car and told Frey that he was in a no parking zone. Dudgeon noticed that Frey was slurring his words, his eyes were bloodshot and glassy, and he smelled of alcohol. There was also a half-full, 12-ounce bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer between the car’s bucket seats. After Frey exited the Mercury at Dudgeon’s request, the cop administered several field sobriety tests, which Frey failed. Dudgeon then arrested the 23-year-old. Since Dudgeon was on foot, a second cop came and drove Frey the few blocks to police headquarters. There, Patrolman Charles Maneely reported, Frey declined to take a blood alcohol test.
Since headquarters did not have a cell or any kind of secured holding area, Cartnal explained, Frey would have been placed in a paneled room with chairs and a fold-up table upon which sat the department’s Breathalyzer machine. And Frey would not have been handcuffed unless he was being unruly, added Cartnal.
Frey was issued two traffic tickets, one for driving under the influence and another for driving without a license, and a separate misdemeanor criminal summons for having that open container of Pabst. He was directed to appear in Mayor’s Court in 10 days. Frey was then released on $733 cash bond, according to the report, which was written at 4 AM on October 25. So, Frey’s time in custody did not exceed five hours.

I read a lot; fiction, non-fiction, speculative fiction, journalism—I love it all equally. But it pisses me off when a genre is misrepresented like this. Frey’s novel still holds merit as a work of fiction, but it definitely loses its punch when you discover your gutsy badass protagonist was really a soccer playing frat boy (as TSG also reveals) with—yes—a drinking problem, but also with a vivid imagination and impeccable manners.

Oh, and what I’m for: bacon, puppies, and running.