First, let me explain that I am possibly the squarest individual in the office.
But I am PRO dogs in bars. And cats in hallways, especially the fluffy Mr. Dogg who haunts the hallways of my apartment during the rain, defying the proscription recently written into our lease.
I’m PRO eating food off the ground. And not washing one’s hands.
I am also PRO riding bicycles on the sidewalk, especially when one’s rear red light has been stolen and one must ride in the dark.
I’m PRO bad television featuring hot gay sex, especially the otherwise reprehensible American version of Queer As Folk.
I am PRO performance art.
I am PRO strip clubs.
I am also pro straight girls penetrating straight male butts, but only in moderation, and I’m glad my boyfriend never reads this SLOG.
I am definitely PRO massive quantities of white cheddar popcorn, high-fat ice cream, stinky cheese, milk chocolate, and olives.
I am pro radiators, which is radical in this age of dry, gross electric heat.