Dump a Smoker?
This just arrived in my Savage Love mail…
My girlfriend of three years is a smoker and I am not. In the beginning of our relationship her smoking did not bother me. I come from a family of smokers and even I used to smoke years ago.
But now her smoking is a huge turn-off. I’ve also started a new job where I work with cancer patients and I see the deadly effects of smoking everyday. I’ve tried everything under the sun to get her to stop, all to no avail. She says she’ll try, but never makes much of an effort. I don’t like to kiss or be near her when she smokes. It ruined our sex life because she comes to bed smelling like cigarettes. Everything she does revolves around cigarettes and I hate it! I would like her to stop for the sake of our relationship, but even more I want her to stop to save her life. If she doesn’t stop I want to move out. I’ll sacrifice the relationship before I succumb to cancer from second-hand smoke.
Is it fair to give her an ultimatum or do I have to continue to lie in the bed I’ve made?
Regular readers of the SLOG will no doubt be able to predict what I would advise NSS to do. But what do you people think?