Don’t Rape Her
There are blue posters up all over the Capitol Hill—and, I assume, up or going up in other neighborhoods—with some advice for men about rape: Don’t.
A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn’t have long hair and women shouldn’t wear short skirts. Women shouldn’t leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn’t get drunk at all.Instead of that bullshit, how about:
if a woman is drunk, don’t rape her.
if a woman is walking alone at night, don’t rape her.
if a woman is drugged and unconscious, don’t rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don’t rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don’t rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you’re still hung up on, don’t rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don’t rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don’t rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don’t rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don’t rape her.
(skipping ahead…)
don’t lecture your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape. don’t imply that she could have avoided it if she’d only done/not done x. don’t sympathize with the perpetrator. don’t imply that it was in any way her fault.don’t like silence imply agreement when someone tells you he “got some” with the drunk girl.
don’t perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
I expect the posters—wheat pasted outside a lot of clubs where women get drunk, meet men, and are well-advised not to leave their drinks unattended—will spark many conversations. I agree generally with the intentions of the authors/activists behind the posters: men shouldn’t rape women, period. And that point needs to be emphasized again and again. Rape: Wrong. Don’t do it, boys. Don’t rape drunk women, jogging women, short-skirted women, or comatose women. It shouldn’t have to be said, but as rape happens despite everyone aggreeing that it’s wrong it obviously needs to be said again and again. And, yes, men who rape are responsible for their actions—they should be arrested and locked up.
But there’s a problem with this poster’s message.
Men who commit rape—particularly the type of guys who rape comatose women, their step-daughters, or women they find in houses they’ve broken into—are not going to be dissuaded by little blue posters or the disapproval of their friends. (“John, you know that I respect you as a friend, but I have to say that I believe raping a comatose women when you’re breaking into a house is simply wrong.”) Consequently women have to be on their guard. Men shoudn’t rape, men who do should be prosecuted. But the fact that some men do rape—and some men, sadly, always will—means women do need to keep an eye on their drinks. We don’t shift the responsibility for rape to women when we urge women to take a self-defense class or avoid walking home from a club alone at 2:30 in the morning or think better of getting blind-drunk in at a frat house. It’s recognizing reality—sad, tragic, wish-it-weren’t-so reality.
But there’s a problem with this poster’s message.
Men who commit rape—particularly the type of guys who rape comatose women, their step-daughters, or women they find in houses they’ve broken into—are not going to be dissuaded by little blue posters or the disapproval of their friends.
You're about yay close to advocating a CCW license and firearms instruction for women. Which isn't a bad thing, I think.