Even though Google has refused to release internet search queries to the Bush administration, I thought I’d help Dubya out and release my own searches from the past week:

Bradley Steinbacher + The Stranger (vanity search)
Bradley Steinbacher + fuckwad (vanity search)
armpit + rash + cancer (hypochondria)
Rachel McAdams + naked (self-explanatory)
Dan Savage + naked (no explanation)
Resident Evil 4 + cheats (geekery)
scab + won’t heal + cancer (more hypochondria)
chronic pot smoking + loss of sex drive (girlfriend-requested search)
Bradley Steinbacher + “coiled sexual fury of a jungle cat” (no results)
Colin Farrell + naked (don’t ask)
Seattle Metro (self-explanatory)