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Friday, January 6, 2006

And You Thought Seattle Critics Were Assholes…

Posted by on January 6 at 12:57 PM

Yao Wenyuan, the last living member of the infamous Gang of Four, died today, possibly of diabetes, but nobody’s sure. The GOF (just a pen stroke away from the GOP) launched and directed the Cultural Revolution, the national pasttime of beating, killing, and harrassing anyone who wanted to talk about botany, sex, classical music, or anything that wasn’t in the dreary Little Red Book.

Yao was a literary and drama critic and kicked off the famine, bloodshed, and terror of the Cultural Revolution with a vitriolic theater review, calling the play a “reactionary poisonous weed.” Look for that phrase in next week’s theater section!

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That doesn't mean Seattle critics aren't assholes.

Ahem. Not that they (you) are, but just that it doesn't mean they (you) aren't.

Ahem. Not that I'm calling you an asshole (directly), but not that I'm not calling you an asshole (maybe).

No, my friend! You have mistaken my intent. (Easy to do without verbal and physical cues.) I am a huge Annie fan, and was in no way calling you or any Stranger reveiwer an asshole. Specifically.

So you're calling us assholes generally? Clearly you think *somebody's* an asshole. Out with it!

EEK! NO! I just mean that how would we know unless we know you? I know you pretty well, Brendon, and you are definitely not an asshole. You, in fact, are quite sweet. I know several other staffers (reviewers & not, Stranger & other) but no true assholes in the bunch (at least upon acquaintance). The ones who I'd be inclined to think are assholes are the ones I don't know, so I withhold opinion. (Because *see what can happen* when you assume something from someone's writing?!)

My original yet badly articulated post was a reaction to the "if you think it's bad here, look at this," argument, which has nothing to do with the price in China. That brand of argument is a pet peeve of mine. So I couldn't let it go (more's the pity, I see now) *even though* I assumed that you were being a bit facetious with your title. So I was trying (and failing, apparently) to also be a bit facetious.

By the way, I'm not only a huge Annie fan, but I am a CONVERTED Annie fan. And I don't know her at all.

Ah. "I feel you," as the kids say. But check it out: I'm an asshole. Grrrr! Asshole!

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