The Seattle City Council will be interviewing the 14 semifinalists for vacant City Council position #9 all day, from 9 am to 5 pm. Tune in live online or check out Slog for continuing coverage.

Everything stops for Project Runway. I’m rooting for/lusting after Daniel V.—who’s with me?

The eminent Andrew Sullivan, appearing on The Colbert Report (which has gotten to be incredibly funny), just explained that blogs “are literally web logs…”

That’s all I’m saying.

Smobriety Charticle Nine

Weight: 175 pounds (There was a particularly delicious, although diet-destroying, trip to Dick’s yesterday. New diet procedures will begin in earnest tomorrow.)

Pulse: 68 beats per minute

Smoking Resumption Risk: Aqua (No real risk of resumption)

Song Stuck in Head: “Jackie,” Scott Walker

Symptoms: Worsening cough, inability to concentrate on my retail job (Please note that this is more a symptom of real life than any kind of smobriety symptom.)

In honor of Shatner’s kidney stone, I’m going to begin selling any bits of my lung that may come up in the next few weeks. Keep an eye on eBay!
The most obnoxious thing about quitting smoking is that people no longer believe me when I say that it’s been an incredibly easy experience. They lean in and whisper, “But really, what time of the day do you miss it the most?” The answer, that I haven’t really wanted a cigarette since that first day, usually results in some variation on “Well, it’ll start getting difficult any time now.” Because people want me to be in tremendous pain, apparently, and I need to be struck down for my arrogance.
Well, thanks. Thanks a lot.
Fucktards.
That’s all I have today. Maybe I’ll suffer tonight or something. Cheers.

This is for my husband (because he appreciates both Paris and You’re the Man Now Dog way more than anyone else I know).

(Link works best in Explorer.)

William Shatner sells his kidney stone for $25,000.

On the subject of valuable extractions: Our cat once swallowed magenta mesh and had to have surgery to remove it, and I still have the mesh in an orange prescription pill bottle at home. It is the foulest-smelling thing in all the world. I will never sell it.

The war on terror is endless; Iran is next.

In tomorrow’s Stranger, careful readers will see the embarrassing error at the front gate of Brendan Kiley’s Theater News column. What kills me is that there was some discussion about this sentence and whether it was just too much, and yet no one noticed the homophonous impostor.

Wither: verb, “shrivel”
Whither: adverb (or conjunction) “to what place or result”

Please insert a tiny sans-serif h for me when you get there.

The LA Times is reporting that Leif Garrett, former teen idol, was busted today for heroin possession.

Garrett pre-heroin:

Garrett post-heroin:

This breaks my heart.

Leif Garrett was my first big crush—and that’s okay, Eros Thought Police. There was nothing pedo about my crush on Garrett: I was a teenager myself when I was stuck on Garrett and he was the older man in our fantasy relationship. I outgrew Garrett, but my crush on Garrett was, um, formative. It left me with a life-long affinity for shaggy-haired blonds with big lips. At 13 I wanted to marry Garrett when I grew up, but I settled for the next best thing. I married a shaggy-haired blond guy with big lips who doesn’t have a heroin problem. Yet, anyway.

UPDATE: Some Leif links…

Visit Leif’s official website—there’s a “news” link but the LA Times story isn’t linked yet. Download his new song: Betty Ford for Xmas.

A huge Leif fan site, and another, and another filled with Leif quotes. And, of course, VH1.

According to the eyewitness report of a US Department of Agriculture inspector—and despite widespread reports to the contrary—the animals at Michael Jackson’s Neverland Zoo are perfectly fine.

Good for them. As for Jacko, he’s still being sued over a nearly $100,000 veterinarian bill he’s allegedly refused to pay. A hearing’s set for May 2.

Not only has the Stranger covered the hell out of all the issues the Weekly’s cover story visits today, the Weekly itself is just now discovering them. In recent years, the Weekly has done a total of three stories about strip clubs, not one story about the smoking ban (unless you count a lone Geov Parrish opinion column), not one about the alcohol impact area, just two (in 1999) about the poster ban, and not one about the mayor’s club task force, which, according to Dawdy, “many people in the club scene read as an attempt to hassle clubs.” (Which people, Philip? The ones I quoted in my stories about the task force, linked in Josh’s post?)

The Weekly’s discovery of urban issues is belated and unconvincing. And, in at least one instance, just plain wrong: The All-Ages Dance Ordinance, which Dawdy calls “ridiculous” and says “is meant to choke off the all-ages music scene,” was actually a progressive response to the (ridiculous) Teen Dance Ordinance, which restricted admission at teen dances to people under 21, required clubs to hire off-duty cops for security, and mandated $1 million worth of insurance for each dance, among other draconian restrictions. To quote the Weekly itself, from 2000, “the new rules are a sincere, well-thought-out attempt to let dance clubs and promoters actually play within the rules.”

In a long-overdue Seattle Weekly cover story this week, Seattle’s elder weekly finally comes down from its snooty perch (“Seattle’s Smart Alternative”) and writes about the stuff we’ve been covering for years. They venture into the real Seattle—a city of bars and nightclubs and oppressed strip clubs—and, as we’ve been doing forever, attack Seattle’s lurch toward nanny statism. It’s a welcome editorial change.

For years, the uptight/upright Weekly has ignored these issues—hell, they’ve repeatedly attacked The Stranger for prioritizing these issues as news. But we’ve slogged on, pushing urban values and defending urban vices week after week—stripping, strap-ons, postering, drinking, getting high, mass transit, more drinking, density, free speech, getting high while postering , and all-ages shows.

As the Stranger’s news editor, I’m glad (and kind of flattered, actually) that the new owners at the Weekly are following our lead and allowing one of their writers to get a little riled about the issues we’ve been screaming about for years. The piece reads like a summary of issues that Stranger readers are all-too-familiar with, maybe even a little bored with already.

But these are not boring issues. So, better late than never. To encourage the Weekly’s new editorial direction, we’d like to help out by bringing them up to speed on issues that they’ve been a little too mature or uptight or too serious to cover. We think the Weekly’s new owners will find this quickie primer— including the story where we broke the news about the smoking ban’s idiotic 25 foot rule and the story where we brought the unconstitutional de facto ban on strip clubs to the city’s attention—super useful! Welcome to the city, Seattle Weekly. But what took you so fucking long?

Read up on strip clubs here, here, here, here, here, here, here , here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. Read up on the Poster Ban here, here, here, and here.

Read up on the recent smoking ban, including our Edit Board recommendation to Vote No, here and here. Read up on team Nickels’s Anti-Club Joint Assessment Team here and here. Stuff on the Unfair Alcohol Impact Area here, here, here, here,here, and here. Read up on the Teen Dance Ordinance here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Okay, maybe you’ve already seen this, but I just watched it last night for the first time.
Are you fucking kidding me—is this REALLY
the Governor of California?

Kyle Shaw, the editor of The Coast, a weekly newspaper in Halifax, Nova Scotia, wrote this piece for us in 2004, when the Liberals turned back a challenge from the Conservatives. It’s a good primer on national politics in Canada—no, wait! That sounds terrible! It’s funny as shit and makes fun of George W. Bush! Go read it! I swear it’s not the least bit educational!

Twelve of the 14 finalists for City Council position #9 - formerly Jim Compton’s seat - have given financial contributions over the years to current members of the city council (the same folks who voted to short-list them on Tuesday). This doesn’t suggest a quid pro quo—in council races that now cost a minimum of $200,000, even the maximum $650 contribution doesn’t go far—but it does highlight the insularity of Seattle’s political class.

Here they are, in order of amount contributed, with their largest contributions in bold:

Joann Francis gave $1,275 to council members Richard McIver and Nick Licata, including $1,225 over the years to McIver. (Francis got McIver’s vote but not Licata’s.)

Bruce Bentley gave $1,085 to McIver, Jean Godden, Richard Conlin, Jan Drago, and Licata, including $485 over the years to Drago. (He got all their votes except Godden’s.)

Ross Baker gave $886 to Conlin, McIver, Peter Steinbrueck, David Della, and Drago, including $205 in contributions to Drago. (Baker received all five council members’ votes.)

Sharon Maeda gave $825 to council members Tom Rasmussen, McIver and Della, including a $650 contribution to Della. (Maeda received all three council members’ votes.)

Dolores Sibonga gave $615 to council members Della, Conlin, McIver, Rasmussen and Drago, including a $200 contribution to Rasmussen. (She got all five council members’ votes.)

Venus Velazquez gave $550 to Drago, Licata, McIver and Conlin, including $200 over the years to McIver. (She got all their votes except Licata’s.)

Stella Chao gave $350 to Conlin, Jan Drago, Richard McIver, Peter Steinbrueck, and Della, including a $175 contribution to Della. (Chao received all five council members’ votes.)

Javier Valdez gave $345 to Rasmussen, Drago and McIver, including a $150 contribution to Rasmussen. (He got all three council members’ votes.)

Darryl Smith gave $300 to Conlin and McIver, including $250 to McIver. (He got both their votes.)

Gail Chiarello gave $300 to Conlin, Steinbrueck and Rasmussen: $100 each. (Chiarello got all three council members’ votes.)

Sally Clark gave $185 to Conlin, Licata, and McIver, including $65 to Licata. (She got all three council members’ votes.)

Ven Knox gave $50 to Richard Conlin. (She got his vote.)

So the PI reported earlier this week that a local child actor is missing. The police think Joe Pichler, who appeared in some movies you’ve never heard of, killed himself. They found his car near a bridge, along with some poetry—never good signs. Picher’s family doesn’t believe he killed himself and are a little upset about with the police. And who can blame them? What mother wants to hear a cop say about her son, “it could take months for him to show up in the water.”

I wanted to post a link to the PI story along with a photo of the missing child actor—who is actually 18 now (or was 18)—along with a photo and so I typed his name into Google images. (Just wanted to help spread the word.) And I did find a couple of photos, and I clicked through… and then I noticed the URL was for a website called “boyhaven.” Um, that sounded like it might be some creepy child porn site—or a site that assembles “innocent” pictures of young boys for the viewing pleasure of creepy old men—and so I quickly closed my web browser and went and washed my hands.

Anyway, here’s a safe link to click through to about the missing child actor. And if you see Pichler—hopefully not in the water—call the cops.

Well, forget it.

Thanks to the corruption scandals that the ruling Liberal Party has presided over, Canada’s Conservative Party is about to win an election—not on the strength of its platform, which most Canadians loathe. The Conservative Party and its leader, Stephen Harper, are opposed to Kyoto, pro-Iraq war, and are talking about repealing gay marriage and drug reform. But because they’re not the Liberals, folks are gonna vote for `em.

Harper is against gay marriage and the Kyoto Protocol to reduce greenhouses gases, and he once referred to Canada as a “northern European welfare state.” He also said he would reassess Canada’s decision to opt out of the U.S. ballistic missile program.

Martin has warned that Harper also would scrap abortion rights.

But Harper has largely kept his ultraconservative views to himself, and his handlers have successfully portrayed him as a moderate who will work for the middle class.

If that sounds familiar, it’s because that was the load of shit that George W. Bush fed American voters—I’m a moderate! A reformer with results! A uniter not a divider!

One bright spot: Canada has a parliamentary system, and a government that rapidly loses support can be forced to face the voters sooner rather than later. A Canadian Prime Minister with approval ratings anything like George W. Bush’s—40% and below in most polls—would be out of office pretty quickly. Paul Martin, the current Liberal Prime Minister, won an election in June 2004. But in November 2005, the ruling party lost a “no confidence” vote and an election was called. Hopefully that will act as some restraint on Harper.

For the week of January 19-25:

Seattle Weekly: 80 pages.
The Stranger: 92 pages.

Lately I’ve been using the word “funnily.” It’s a good word, I like the way it sounds. But the other day, Dan Savage caught me and told me it wasn’t a real word at all. So, being the highly respected professional that I am (ahem), I had to cut back on using my favorite fictional word. It was really quite devastating. But today my friend Bryan informed me that according to www.dictionary.com, funnily is an acceptable word! It says so right here! I couldn’t be happier.

A new Albert Brooks movie entitled Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World is opening this Friday at the Metro and the Meridian 16. Meanwhile, the Washington Post has found comedy in the Muslim world: in the form of “the Arab version of Laurel and Hardy.” Hallelujah!

…in front of your boyfriend’s damn parrot.

A parrot owner was alerted to his girlfriend’s infidelity when his talkative pet let the cat out of the bag by squawking “I love you Gary.” Suzy Collins had been meeting ex-work colleague “Gary” for four months in the Leeds flat she shared with her partner Chris Taylor, according to reports.

Mr Taylor apparently became suspicious after Ziggy croaked “Hiya Gary” when Ms Collins answered her mobile phone. The parrot also made smooching sounds whenever the name Gary was said on TV.

That’s what I keep telling myself. I’m trying not to let the weather get to me.

I was digging around about Amsterdam this morning, and I came across this tourism website. It doesn’t let me link directly to my favorite feature, but scroll down to Panorama Amsterdam (lower right) and then click on Dam Square for a 360-degree view of the center of town. There are other locations in the city you can click on too, but the technology has a weird distorting effect, and Dam Square looks the best. Lots of birds. Plus, it’s sunny.

Via Drudge/Newstrack:

Brown University scientists say they’ve genetically modified some of the ‘friendly bacteria’ found in yogurt to release a drug that blocks HIV infection.

If bacteria steps up and bails our asses out of a health crisis as mold did with penicillin, we are going to owe it one hell of a long, lingering hug.

I have a friend, Stuart, who has a penchant for emailing religious fundamentalists whenever they upset him. Which is often. And, as it turns out, they sometimes write him back. You should have seen the exchange he had last year with the person who answers James Dobson’s email.

Anyway, with Redmond’s very own Rev. Ken Hutcherson now agitating for a boycott of Microsoft, Boeing, and other companies over their support of Washington’s gay civil rights bill, Stuart is back pounding away at his keyboard. Problem is, it’s not easy to find Hutcherson’s direct email address. Instead, one has to go through his personal assistant, Anne Comer….

…who describes herself this way:

I love to sing in Choir and the Praise Teams, study God’s word and listen to the birds outside early in the mornings… God has blessed me with a wonderful, godly upbringing, (thanks Mom and Dad) a godly husband, godly children and a church that I can grow my faith in Jesus Christ. “Thank YOU Jesus, for saving my soul!”

Here is Anne’s email address. And here is an email from Stuart about his decision to email Anne to politely complain about her boss’s opposition to gay rights. Stuart asked me to share the email with Slog readers, and he encourages you guys to follow his lead, if you’re so inclined:

I woke up this morn to this news on the radio… that one Rev. Ken Hutcherson at a church in Redmond, WA (which is real close to Microsoft, for those out-of-staters I’m sending this to) is threatening another of those tiresome boycotts that sometimes seem to get folks in the business world to cower and retreat. All because it looks like for the first time in 30 years of trying, Washington is about to get a gay civil-rights bill passed…

I know that I don’t necessarily have the power to stop his ignorant and evil threats and thoughts, and, when you go to his website, you can’t seem to send HIM a personal email voicing your opinion. What you can do is email his personal assistant, who, by proxy, is complicit in his views. I have sent a polite email to her, and it made me feel just a tad better.

My email went something like this:

“Since one cannot email Rev. Hutcherson directly on this site, I chose to email you, and ask, politely, what if one of your godly children turned out to be gay…would you want them to be discriminated against, and have no protection under the law?

Just asking…food for thought.”

Basically, I’m not looking for folks to be rude; I’m looking for these folks to stop and think for a minute what they’re doing and asking others to do.

I’ve never done a mass email like this before, but, after the Ford boycott and other endless threats by these people, I felt like I had to do something, albeit small.

Thanks,
Stuart

I’ll let you know if Stuart gets an email back from Anne, or her boss, and in the meantime, here’s that email address again.

Oh, and if you do write an email to Anne, and want to post a copy of it in the Slog comments for all to see, well, the link to the comments is right here ——>

Among the many items that helped the Strangercrombie ‘05 holiday gift auction raise a record $39K for Northwest Harvest was a package that’s become an annual favorite, in which the Stranger Distribution Team comes over in a big van to help you move.

Purchased for a most reasonable $202.50, this year’s Stranger-distro-team-helps-you-move extravaganza went down this past Sunday, when the distro crew descended on a houseboat docked in the Gasworks Marina, inhabited by a man employed as a Dungeons & Dragons webmaster for Wizards of the Coast and described by distro leader Kevin as “super nice.” Further specifics on the move—from the man’s loaded boat to a roomy Capitol Hill home—are supplied by Kevin (he’s the one with the busted toof and shockingly smooth thighs) below.

Did you have to move any pianos?
“No pianos, just a bunch of boxes, some with comedic labels like ‘EXOTIC SPICES FROM AFAR,’ ‘MAN-EATING PLANTS,’ and ‘SEX TOYS.’ That one was was really light. And there was a giant TV, which was playing the game. It was the last thing we hauled off the boat and the first thing we plugged in at the house.”

Were you offered any booze, drugs, or ‘swingvitations’?
“No drugs or swing invites, but he supplied us with beer and let us smoke on the deck of his boat.”

Anything to add?
“No. The guy was great, we got off easy. Plus, on the day of the move, I wore the ‘Drunk of the Week’ shirt I won this terrible weekend last month. Everywhere I went, people treated me like royalty. It was weird.”

Look for more Strangercrombie intrigue in next week’s paper (the one coming one week from today…).

“Swingvitation” is the registered neologism of Jake Nelson.